Swedish theme continues with the first Swede I ever knew

The Swede introduces us to Swedish popstar Danny

Against my Will

900 years ago, as a tiny gay tot in Denver, CO I ventured out (as usual) to the local daycare center (read: gay bar) that allowed underage gays (twinks in rainbow diapers) to partake in the fun sans BOOZE. It was a difficult time for me, as you can imagine, the sans BOOZE thang, but I was thin, so it worked. I sauntered in to Roadz (the allowance-fueled "gay" club) with my 32 inch boots on, wearing something daring. Something current. I mean, it was 1997. What COULD any hip (almost) gay wear, other than a TICKLE ME ELMO SHIRT (with overalls)? In my memory, the overalls are piles of cash, smartly invested in the hedge funds I would (eventually) work for/be fired from. Anyhoo, I'm beside myself. "Hey self, move over, I have to publish a blog!" I sauntered into Roadz, donning my Tickleme Homo schirt, and wearing the o'alls with only one thingy fastened. It was cute? My tiny (then) belly protruding (tinily then) slightly. Nowadays I would call that fago paunch a six pack with an eight pack that just drank a keg, but when you're a teenager...WHAT DO YOU KNOW?...besides the square root of ANYTHING is ___ and the ability to charm an AP teacher into recommending you to STANFORD (which ya ain't gud fer) is, well... Neet!

So's I'm in da joint, Roadz. Across da way I see the hottest, thinnest, thinnest, thin G'Asian/thin person I have ever seen (in public or on WWW.THINASIANSLIKE WHITIES.COM). "MY GOD, ARE THOSE WHITE PANTS LINED WITH RAINBOWS???" No asian, g'a(sian) or otherwise, would ever wear such a thing unless they were paid LESS than (insert any dollar amount you deem fit for an (A)sian).

Anyhoo, at some point (18.7 drinks later), I became enamored with ol' I. Slanty. It's not hard when you're 3 and workin' it. It turns out Slanty Hot Stripes had not been born yet, but his delightful mother Cheeky La Dimples was out searching for a once and future ex-husband. Or as she said it, "Cum of Som Yun G.I."

Needless to say, I was in love...with his balls...and the fact that he was daring enough to go into public considering the fact that he was a.) a.sian b.) b.eautiful AND c.) kute!

Well, I've dreamt about shim often. Shoften wodering shwhere will I meet shhim again? Butt, I know that some shwheday, shwhee shwh'ill appear and my elmo dreams will be, well, re-d(r)eamed. sp-1.

+2points for makin' it to the end. I think I'm shwhrunk.

TTFN

That's Amore!

Curtains is cute-ish...too long...no Hyde Pierce...but glad we went.

Law and Order SVU tonight was GOOD.

First time I've been asked out in...ever. Have a date with Gus tomorrow. :)

Divas asked to do another show...me likey.

Somethin's better than nothin'

Go see Romance and Cigarettes.

I met a cute Swede named Gus.

MRK and I are seeing Curtains tomorrow.

Parodivas are diva'ing in Brooklyn on Halloween.

I am eating (my) habanero hummus and homemade pita chips. The corn and tomato chowder is next.

Watching Heroes.

Some guy SWEARS that I am in Naked Boys Singing, but he's always so drunk he thinks each time we meet it's for the first time. I just go with it. I am SO good in the show. Apparently.

Doodle Chef

I made peppery pork chops, cheesy smashed cauliflower, and braised radishes for dinner. Yum-0.

Oh, I also logged on to my computer at home for the first time in over a week. Woot!

Bad blogger

I keep meaning to update, but just haven't had the time to put my thoughts down. Stupid Corporate America won't let me put my thoughts down at work or enjoy other's thoughts because blogspot is BLOCKED. Anyhoo, sorry I've been away. I'll try to make it back very soon.

Peace.

Weekend

Headin' off to Boise for Drea's wedding tomorrow. Very excited. I'm all packed AND I get to sleep in tomorrow. YAY FOUR DAY WEEKEND. Congratulations Drea, if you're reading this, GO FOR IT! Ya'll love each other and have been together forever AND you know he's crazy sexy cool.

PS. Haven't seen Drea's Mom since high school graduation which was almost 10 years ago. WOW.

Sucky Monday/Crying on the bus

I hate Mondays. I decided to cheer myself up by listening to the Sondheim concert at Carnegie Hall. And this lady made me cry. SO GOOD.

Nice weekend

Friday night I met up with the Queens for dinner and a Fringe show. The dinner was great, at Chickie Pigs, and the show was okay. Eh. After, I went over to Cricket's for a bottle of Argentinian wine and a Hedwig documentary. Then it was a quick cab home, to change for drinks with Sir Willio and his Beau (for now) at That Bar. It was a really productive and date-filled evening. I awoke around 11 and waited as long as I could before calling Ad-orable to see what we were going to do on our date. We decided to see Super Bad in his hood. The movie was really cute & funny alot like my date. After, he showed me his apartment and then I went on my way as he had to get ready to hang out with his parents. I walked down from the UES to H&M and then caught the bus to go and meet Cricket for dinner at Chipotle. YUM-0. Then we met up with Sir W and Beau to see The Simpsons Movie. It was great fun. Then we ended up back at That Bar for more drinks. Today, I got groceries and picked up my laundry. Then had a great conversation with Sister Chad while doing my best to straighten up Noodle's room (the living room) as she'll be back for a bit and on the futon. I watched Serendipity and cried my face off, and thought, I might as well blog about this delightful little weekend. Next, I'll be making philly cheese steaks while watching Big Brother. HOLLA!

I forgot...I GOT MY DEMO ON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rick and Steve 2:1

Rick and Steve 2:2

Rick and Steve 2:3

Doodle dates his friends/Whoretastic '07

Friday Darladiva and I thought it would be a GREAT idea to get wasted on the UES. Why? Why not? Mad River has a $7 cover and then $1 drinks. Yes, $1 drinks. That's $1. We had some appetizers at Arriba Arriba (who knew they had one in suburbia?), and then headed over to Nerdy Scientist Frat Fest '07. "Can we open a tab?" "Sure, but it's a $20 minimum." Um, it takes 20 drinks to get to that min. Well, we did it, somehow. Then headed over to the piano bar Brandy's. We had a gay old time. Then we poured each other into cabs to head home. On the way home, my taxi took me right by THAT BAR and so I had him drop me off there. I ended up chatting with this one guy who knew The BF back when he was Tommy. It was the first time I had spoken to him post-BF and it was quite interesting. Then I fell asleep for a moment. When I awoke there was an Adorable boy next to me. As I recall, we instantly starting making out and then I...whore. I might actually like someone that I've...whore. I'll let ya'll know.

Saturday was spent with Adorable in my bat cave, with anticipations of meeting Cricket for Sicko and convermesations. Adorable went on his way and I got ready for my second date of the weekend. Cricket and I met in Union Square and headed over to the movie. It was fantastic. It was maddening. It was eye-opening. Go see it. As someone who doesn't have health insurance right now, it made my stomach churn to know that in Canada, or the UK or (gasp!) France, people just go to the doctor when they need to. There is NO bill at the end. There is no, "how much am I going to have to put on my credit card this time." That doesn't exist. YIKES SIGH KILL ME. After the movie, we had drinks at that cute little outdoor place in Union Square. We shared some watery sangria, but it was lovely. Cricket had to run off to wake up at the butt crack of dawn to teach the masses how to bend it like Gumby. I decided to walk from Union Square through Chelsea and maybe have a drink at Splash or the like. Splash was terrifying so I kept walking. After being heckled by some stupid LI teens (been a LONG time since I've been heckled, I must say), I ended up at View. It was pretty fun. I met Big Eyes Big Lips and made out with him for a while and then walked him to the train. Headed toward home I saw a particular kind of club that I had been before with The BF. "Hmm, might be fun by myself." It was terrifying, but Cutie McCoif showed up and it got better...until I left at 6:30am (erohw) WHAT?

Sunday FINALLY means brunch again. I met Madame Renea Knight at our old haunting ground (that's fun to say) FC Cafe. The conversation was great, the service, not so much. But, as always, great to hang out with the MRK. Girl, you got such a f'ing great head on your shoulders and you're not afraid to fill it with booze. LOVE YOU.

And that was my weekend of dating my friends/((you))know))))

More gay cartoons to come.

Rick and Steve Episode 1 Part 1

Rick and Steve Episode 1 Part 2

Rick and Steve Episode 1 Part 3

My Mom’s 50th Birthday or D10 LaGuardia’s first Gay Bar

So I left work around 11:50 am on Friday and it was POURING. I managed to get to JFK by about 1:15 pm or so. I checked the board and everything looked okay, except that the flight before mine had been canceled. So I went and had a drink. Then I got a message on my phone from American with flight status, saying that it would be departing at 4:50 instead of 3:15. YIKES! I got about 10 more calls that kept changing the departure time, 4:50, 3:30, 4:30, on time, nope 4:50. So I finally went and spoke to someone and they said the flight had not taken off from where it was coming from; it had been on the runway since 1:20. Ugh. So it turns out that if the plane ever actually did show up I would definitely miss my connection to Austin and be stuck in Raleigh-Durham N.C. (ew). So they rerouted me to LGA, so I could connect through Dallas (at least I'd be in the right state if I was stuck). So I hopped on the shuttle and made my way to LGA. This flight was supposed to leave at 6 but was delayed to 6:30. It was then delayed to 7:25 and then delayed to 7:40. So I was stuck in LGA with a million other people with nothing to do but wait. I went over to this drink cart, not a bar, a cart, but they were serving booze. On my way over I see this very cute boy sitting on the ground, we smile. I get a drink and then ask him if I can sit with him. His name is JR. He's waiting for a flight to Chicago because he's going to Market Days (which is like gay-palooza Chicago style or something). He wanted me to come with him, but I told him I couldn't ditch my mom. Then after a while two other gays were near us, and I invited them to come and chat with us. I made a gay bar on the floor of LGA at Gate D10. What can I say? Anyhoo, they hung out with me, and insisted that we all call my mother to wish her happy birthday, until I FINALLY got on the plane which left a little after 8pm. There was very little chance that I was going to make my connection in Dallas which was to leave at 10:45. It turns out that my connection was delayed to 11:08 and I made it about 2 minutes before boarding. I got in at midnight. Lord.

So Friday night my mom, grandma and I stayed up ‘til about 2 talking, then went to bed. Woke up and got ready and tried to help my brother with the digital picture frame he got my mom. We could not make it work. Then Shane and I took Madison over to Nathan's where everyone was gathering before heading to the catering location wedding place where the party was. There were 900 children and they were all blonde. Umm, the party was really fun. It was so hot outside and humid and I was basically soaking wet the whole time, but yeah, my mom had a great time. And as a surprise my best friend from my childhood, Ronda Ray was there. Neither of us knew the other was coming so it was really fun to see her and hang out with her. And nice to have someone not related to me to chat with. There were so many relatives. Then yesterday I got up and had breakfast and then my mom brought me to the airport. All these flights went perfectly. AND on each flight the attendant bought me a drink. Weird. I actually got in early. I was on the shuttle back to Manhattan around 7:25. and now I'm ready for a weekend.

I have two weekends free and then I am off to reunite with my best friend from high school for her wedding!!! And then I’m not traveling for a while, unless the Parodivas get asked to guest star on some Hollywood show, then I might be up on a plane again.

“Planet Unicorn, Heyyy!”

Back from Austin

I will try to put together a recap tomorrow at work. Eating dinner, trying to finish watching Shop Girl (which I started on the plane) before going to bed. LOVE YA'LL (Oh god, the Texan-talk has stuck). Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Planet Unicorn - Just when you thought I couldn't get gayer. LOOK AT THIS