One Year Blog-iversary Post 4 (SCROLL DOWN AND READ IN ORDER please?)

I LOVE ALL OF YOU SO MUCH (yes, even you Sir Willio. Now get back to those taxes). Aren’t you all excited for the Spring weather that will soon be upon us? I can smell the pedicures. What? I think ew. But stars always get pedicures, and so must I. It just better not rain on my newly clipped and polished toes because that will make me MAD (scientist).

Thanksgiving is all about the big turkey (Carter).

I’m glad that my new role in The Office is permitting me to write the LONGEST BLOG POST IN THE HISTORY OF BLOGGING! Thanks office, thanks. And thanks for also paying me enough so that I can do occasional showcases for free. That’s good.

Man am I a whore.

But back to The Office for a second. That’s it. One second.

My dear readers/friends, the end of this long long long…long post is almost here. I just want you all to know that you’re the one(s) that I want to suck my youngblood. What? What does that mean? You can’t end like that!

Doodle.

1 week since last post= bad blogger

Okay, okay, I’m back. I’ve been so tired and busy and busy making up tired excuses as to why I haven’t blogged.

The morning of Eyster deserves to make it to blog-land. Don’t you think Joseph Gordon Levitt is hott? Me too.

Eyster brunch and festivities beyond were WONDERFUL.

Monday, I took a half day because I was exhausted. I’m glad I did because our first night of tech was challenging. We made it about ¾ of the way through the first act. We picked up from there and finished teching the show last night. I found that now that I’ve got my Act 2 character down, it’s a breeze. So, that’s nice. Annnnd, I don’t end up sweating buckets (in the 2nd act). YAY. Tonight we have an invited dress which I am quite excited about. I’m honestly so tired I don’t know how I’ll do it, but adrenaline is a wonderful thing. I’m ready to get this show opened and on it’s way. I really can’t believe that it’s here and will be gone in a little over two weeks. That had be is crazy. I’m very excited that the summer time slowy-ness of corporate America is on it’s way. Leaving around 5 every day sounds like a dream. HOLLA!!! Ms. Noodle is coming back as of May 1st, so if you know anyone who needs a sublettor, let me know. She is not opposed to boroughs as she wants to live cheaply for the next three months before she heads out on ANOTHER tour. Good for her. I don’t know how she does it.

Well, that’s that for now. I shall return to my normal sleeping patterns for a few days a week, starting next week, which will be nice. Annd I can cook again! Yay!

Exclamation point.

Doodle!

Thursdoodle: Darladiva inspires!

Darladiva has written another zinger of an article on Broowaha.com. Check it out and then rate her so someone will take notice and pay her so she can call herself a writer judgment-free. She talks about that diggiest of party-going questions, “what do you do?” I have a new response, “I’m a soul-seller. I only have one client right now, but I’m looking to expand my client base. Are YOU interested in giving me your soul? I can guarantee you a nice bonus come Tree Time.” “We’re Executive Assistants!” Darladiva and I piped to an adorable waiter in an adorable purple polo at this healthy lunch spot we happened upon during a shopping lunch. He was so genuinely interested, we had to quickly dissuade him and let him know we wanted nothing more than for cute EA’s to come into our healthy lunch spot, where we’d be the adorable waiters wearing aforementioned adorable purple polos. Alas, Darladiva and I desperately need and enjoy our health benefits that we went too too many years without. Dental appointments should not invoke panic attacks for reasons other than the fact that dentists can be freakishly scary. I should be scared of the dentist and his rusty tools, not the fact that I am poor and will never be able to afford whatever it is that is wrong up in my mouth. I look back in nostalgic terror when I think of the time I heard those horrid horrid words, ROOT CANAL!! (insert creepy-angry sound effect). And I heard those words days before I was to debut a solo cabaret. I couldn't put it off any longer. I am STILL paying off the credit card I have lovingly deemed Dental Debbie Debt Card. Bitch. I hate that whore and the interest rate she rode in on. Alas, being a soul-seller, I have seriously attacked my debt due to the nice bonus that arrived in my (still) struggling bank account around Tree Time. I do see freedom from this little monetary phase in my (seemingly) former artistic life. I do. The day will come when at a party on the Upper East Whatever I will gladly announce to that bimbette of an Accounts Payable clerk who is mistakenly dating my actor friend, “I AM A GYPSY!!!” And I do mean Rose Lee.

Up-doodle (not the hair style)

Hello all (three) of you. Update mcupdatetron. Ummmm:

I’m tired.

Okay bye.

Just kidding.

Last night I went to the Handel’s Messiah Sing A Long at Avery Fisher Hall in Lincoln Center. It was okay. I wish I had my own copy of the music because sharing did not work out. I couldn’t see the conductors. I also am not familiar enough with the bass part to be able to sight read well enough to not sound like a low-voiced drowned cat. There was a blind lady sitting in front of me and I felt bad for her overly sensitive ears. She had a very cute doggie though. He only howled a few times during the Hallelujah chorus, as should be expected. All in all, I wish I had had a voice lesson before going which doesn’t make it seem like a very entertaining evening. Anyhoo, it was a fun idea at least. Tonight I am seeing Kiki & Herb’s Christmas show at the Bowery Ballroom. I’ve never been there. Woo. It should be quite a different experience. In keeping with the holidoodle theme, I also saw the Grinch on Thursday. It was very cute and fun and cute. Did I say cute? I want to be the Grinch. They should hire me next year. I’ll work for scale. I WILL. I’m looking forward to the long weekends ahead. I am taking off January 2nd and 3rd, so I will only have to work 2 days that week. That had be is goodly. In this week’s episode of The Office, Mr. Doodle has “reached out” to his head hunter for some help for the new year. We shall had be see. Hopefully Ms. Head can help Mr. Doodle find some sort of bearable joy in a work place. Who knows? Also in this episode of The Office, the owners of the company where Mr. Doodle works, MinuteFront Poodle, have been calling people into their office one by one for the year end review/bonus talks. Mr. Doodle is nervous, but thanks to advice from his friend Marlene Mae Meller More he has assembled a list to help him with the chat. Wish Mr. Doodle luck. He is expecting a decrease in pay and to owe them some sort of fee for allowing him to work at MinuteFront Poodle. Hopefully, he’ll be wrong. One never knows. Enough about television. Tomorrow night I don’t have plans and I am quite excited about that. I can just go home after work and boil myself in a tub and go to bed at 8pm. Woot woot. Well, my faithful (three) readers, I hope you are pleased to have this update mcupdatetron. I shall try to be better about such things but honestly, my search for that ever elusive Will to Live keeps me quite bus-ay.

Doodle!

Flu-dle?

Sick sick sick sick sickety sick. Oy freakin’ vey. Since Thursday I have had a flu-like something or other and it has been attacking me. STOP IT FLU-LIKE THING! With the current situation at work I haven’t felt totally comfortable taking a sick day. On Friday, for example, I knew Executive Assistant wouldn’t be in, so Assistant Assistant would be doing EA’s job which meant AA wouldn’t be available to help My Boss if I took the day off. So, feverish as all hell, I trudged into work, hoping that if My Boss took one look at me she would send me straight back home. Not so much. So, I asked her if we could try to get everything done by 12 or 1 so I could take a half sick day. We finished everything promptly by the time she always leaves, 4:00. So, after a trip to Duane Reade for some Nyquil and other such hopeful remedies, I trudged back home. The BF came over and made me some chicken soup and we just stayed in…basically the whole weekend. It came to Monday morning and I was still not better. Again, I considered not coming in, but knew that My Boss was taking a vacation day and that Assistant Assistant would be out because she had “an event” (she runs a theatre company on Long Island, woo). So I trudged my more feverished ass to work, again. Now I had made an appointment with my new doctor for Monday for 2pm so I decided I would ask if I could just leave after that. Apparently, I looked worse than I even imagined. They all agreed wholeheartedly. I went to my new doctor, Dr. Hot Salt N Pepper. He gave me a little test that came back negative for the flu. He said it was apparent I did have something (DUH! swoon), so he gave me a prescription for some antibiotics, and suggested I get some blood work done, and sent me on my way. Now it is Tuesday and thanks to the first dosage of pills I am feeling better. I really should have taken today off, but alas the guilt o’erwhelmed me and I do feel better than I have. Anyhoo, hopefully the drugs will continue to batter Mr. Evil Flu-Like Thing and I will be tip top by Saturday for Darladiva’s party. Woot. Anyhooo, that’s the update for now. Thrilling, I know. So, doodle your best to doodle in this sickness filled wintery wonder doodle. Doodle!

Newdle post

Alas alack I have gotten some requests to update this muthafuckah and so here we go, yo. The show was a smashing success. We had some Brits and Lezbos in who didn't know any of us and I had a great time chatting with them. It gives you perspective which seems to be Jason's mantra of the year 27. It's all about perspective. The Brits seemed to think that this was the begining of a new comedy show that would be running at the Duplex. I wish. The lesbians thought it was the funniest thing they'd EVER seen and wanted to bring back their parents. What? I mean they were probably 35ish which means their parents are in their 60's. Hmm. My grandmother (no one tell her I said this) just turned 70. Now 70 is the new 60 and I know she would love a Parodivas show. Anyhoo. "When is the next one?" seemed to be the comment of the night. I don't know. It dawned on me today that Darlene and I should host a Parodivas Christmas sing a long open mic thing. Charge a nominal cover to pay for the room and then donate the rest to charity. Whachu think? The BF has agreed to play since he loves Christmas music, etc. I wouldn't normally want to work with him because mixing business with pleasure isn't wise, but since it's music he already knows and he wouldn't want to step in as a music director, I think it might work. I was thinking the performance space at New Dance Group might be a nice place for this...I think Gwen should do Have yourself a merry little Christmas and then I do not remember Christmas. Darlene and I would act as hosts and do some parodies and then we could all do some big group numbers with lyrics printed out for everyone, blah blah. Just a thought while we get to work on Ono or Hollywood or whatever.

Work is a nightmare. It's just really bad right now. I got a talking to from the co-owner of the company about my "performance" on Friday and it really made it a challenge to get focused and put on a good show. I'm a perfectionist. I don't like doing things I'm not good at. I know this. It's why I quit baseball. And soccer. And football. And tennis. And karate. And gymnastics. I loved basketball and was quite good at that, I just grew out of that and into choir. I'm glad. I digress. Yes, I've made mistakes in my job. Who hasn't? I feel that I am expected to job-share with my boss as opposed to being her assistant which is my title. Then, I am expected to provide the same quality of work that she does, even though she has 6 years of experience versus my 6 months. I mean, I am a smart and capable person. I am. This job is challenging and difficult and I dare them to find someone who can do it better. Whatever. I've basically been asked to kick it up a notch. The trouble and the reason I am worried and paranoid is that an hour after the talk, the one person at my office that I am "friends" with (the only person I invited to the show) came up to me to say goodbye...forever. She was fired. She had no idea. My company is clearly cleaning house before bonus time and I've been warned. Corporate America. I talked to my mom about it and I feel better. (in her charming southern ass way) "Honey, you can kick it up a notch. You are a fantastic actor, and I know you can do it." Alright mom. I'll try this out. I never thought I'd be hoping for a children's theatre tour or for the freedom that temping offers. I need to get in shape. I need to take some dance classes. I need to get my debt paid off. Because: While having sold my soul to corporate america to get my finances in order is okay. IT IS NOT PERMANENT!

Perspective...and of course I WILL ALWAYS HAVE:DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE. FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCKS! I WILL CUT YOU...WITH WIT.

Shame on Doodle=bad blogger

Wow, I haven't been back here in almost a week. I suck doodles. Well, it was an interesting holi-doodle. Fun mix of people and food and cats. I like the cat with the thumbs better than the fat one, but that's just my opinion. I ate enough to kill a donkey, so that means I'm a good American! Right?

The show is on Friday!! Wow. Scared. Excited. Wow.

I think I might be getting sick, so tonight I am going to take every vitamin, some echinacea, an acidopholous, a shot of noni, one penicilin, and 5 gallons of water. Die cold, die! I shall not succomb to thee.

I bought a very cute black shirt for the show. Now I just have to find some bling to wear on and or around said shirt. Woot.

Work is crazy busy. LEAVE ME ALONE RINGING PHONE!!!

I need to get through this day, get my rehearse on and then get to bed so I can make sure I don't get this cold. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Doodle.

Fri-doodle: Faux Velvet Track Suits are NOT okay.

Uh uh. You better get back on the train that takes you to Penn Station. You better get off that train and walk to NJ Transit. You better get on that train that takes you to Weehawken. You better ride that train to NJ. You better get off at the station that says Weehawken. You better get in your burnt orange Plymouth Horizon and drive to your house on Busted Avenue. You better go in your house and find something else to put on because faux velvet track suits are NOT okay. Maybe then, your close-talking self will be bearable. Until then, to quote Gwen quoting a big black lady, "ooh, you better don't!"

rant fin.

Um, a different co-worker just came up and this was on the screen. She said, "I can't believe she's trying to get away with that. Jeans are one thing but..." I'm not alone.

Track Suit Fridays? Methinks doodle.

Mon-doodles are eh.

Hi. Boy oh boy it's been a long life. My job has been pretty stressful lately and it leaves me wondering, why oh why am I working in finance. But, as Darladiva and I pass the new script via email back and forth, it all seems okay. This job pays my rent and (sometimes) affords me the time to work on shows at my desk. That's why, I suppose. I just can't wait to get rid of my debt so I can feel freer. Until that time I feel I have to stay in a job like this one in order to get the bills paid. I hate feeling trapped. I guess everyone feels trapped in their respective jobs at some time, right? I had quite a big problem at work on Friday and it left me feeling upset and nervous and doubtful of whether or not I even want to keep working at a "day job." I just don't feel appreciated, which is fine, really, because these people don't even know what I'm capable of. They think I'm a dumb kid who calls himself a playwright, which I don't...they do. Oy. Now, the question is whether or not I invite these people to our next show. Hmmm. I just don't know. I guess I'll just see how I feel when the time of the show is closer. Speaking of which, we should be doing an email blast something or other this week about the new show. It's coming together. "bit by bit..."

Heroes tonight, yay!

Ain't right

Well, I really don't want this blog to turn into a rant about my job, but it seems that it is. I haven't written in a while because for the past twodle days I've had to wake up at butt crack of dawn to get to The New York Palace Hotel for our Turkish Conference 2006. Oy. I busily signed people in, told them where their meetings were and when and where lunch would occur. Monday, I did that from 7-3 and then had to come back to the office from 3-6! Then, Monday night I went with a group of people to see Evil Dead the Musical. It was a fun crazy weird show. I've never seen the movies, so I missed a lot of inside stuff, but didn't care. Fun times. I'd love for my job to be playing a singing zombie instead of pretending that office work doesn't turn me into a non-singing zombie corporate droid sell out. Oooh, angry doodle. Today, I awoke again at negative am and hopped in a cab to the NYPH. Woo. I was finished earlier today, back at the office around 11 to do all the work that my boss and I have been neglecting do to said conference. I got a request from Darladiva to make a return to my blog and so here we are. I didn't get a chance to see Heroes last night because of the show, but I taped it and watched about 30 seconds of it before passing out. Tonight, The BF and I are going to the parade dressed as the real life characters from the documentary Grey Gardens, now a broadway show. I'm too tired to imagine how tired I'll be after tonight, I'm in denial. Anyhoo, I'm REALLY looking forward to tomorrow night because I DON'T HAVE PLANS and I will have (hopefully) slept until at least 8am. We shall see. Daylight Stupid Savings Time RUINED. RUINED I SAY!!!!

Angry McDoodle