Okay, I bogarted this from some uber-Christian site and then re-worked it for us. Check it out.
You and I seem to be bombarded daily with bad news. One would think it’s terrible to be alive. Seldom do we hear about the many good things in our lives. I maintain we have a lot of good shit as well as the problem shit. I am convinced we should celebrate life with a deeper appreciation of it (life, not shit). I hope you will find some of the following concepts helpful:
1. Find some good shit each morning. Be thankful for you’re apartment in the best city in the world. New York Mutha Fuckin’ City
2. Every night the good shit you received that day. The incorrect change you received from the dumbass at Starbucks, the flirty eyes you got from the hottie in accounting, that first burst of energy you get from your eighth cup of coffee or tenth bottle of water, Super Nanny, American Idol, Law and Order, Grey’s Anatomy. You will fall asleep before you have gone through your list.
3. Be thankful you can breathe a deep, clear breath because you don’t smoke and people cannot smoke in bars, restaurants, or porn stores.
4. Appreciate God’s beauty in nature and the fact that we don’t have to look at that annoying green shit cuz we live in cement.
5. Know that friends (our urban family) are fucking cool. Let them know how fucking cool they are. Send an ecard for no reason at all. All of us need encouragement.
6. Live one day at a time. You can’t relive yesterday. It is gone. Neither can you live tomorrow. (this one I didn’t adjust. Good advice Bible McThumper)
7. Be a “giver,” not a “getter.” The givers are the real winners in this world. The “getters” are the real losers. Givers are happy people. Getters are never satisfied. Umm please ignore re: butt sex.
8. Look for the good. It is in every situation. Find it. It’s there. Right? No, right. RIGHT!?
9. Do a good deed every day. It is more fun if you do it anonymously. I agree that doing it anonymously is a good deed. Do it.
10. Let nothing bother you. “Don’t worry about anything…” Get fired.
11. Practice being happy. Every day we have a choice of our attitudes and that makes a big difference in the way we see our world. Put on a play in which you play yourself but it’s a sitcom instead of Ibsen.
12. Learn to laugh (out loud at your boss).
13. Change criticism to praise. Build on the strengths, not weaknesses. This one’s f’ing hard. Fuck you criticism! I mean, hey criticism, hey!!
14. Take a break and walk around the block. Count five people who are uglier than you and it’s time to go back in. You won’t even make it 10 feet.
15. Doodle. Every day. Doodle.
1 comment:
you are the funniest person i know.
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