29 and Holdin'

I just received the best card EVER. I finally emerged from the bat cave around 3 to head over to the post office to pick up a mysterious package (check from Daddy??). It turns out it was from auntie sash! As I made my way home (after a brief stop at the bodega for a 40, potato chips and spinach dip, yes I am pregnant), I couldn't resist the urge to open the package. As I attempted to free the darling little package from alcatraz-like tape-enings, I thought, is she channeling her mother, my grandmother? We used to receive gifts from Gramma Schmidt and if she hadn't given us swiss army knives that one year, we NEVER would have gotten INTO the packages.

Anyhoo, I DID finally get INTO the auntie sash package and found the most AMAZING card (pictured here). Crumpled dollar bills, a stick of gum, some change, three paperclips (the purple is my favorite of course), a 60 cent off coupon for hot sauce and, of course, a spork were the contents. I BURST INTO LAUGHTER as I read the sticky note attached that read: A "channeling Gramma Schmidt" birthday moment. OMG. As I began to straighten out the money I thought, yes, Gramma Schmidt would put a lot of thought into meticulously emptying her purse into a birthday card, sure. But, Auntie SASH? Would she really send me $48? And then I counted the change. 1 dollar coin, three quarters, a dime, two nickels and five pennies round it out to a lovely and hilarious $50. LOVE IT.

Also, in the care package are lovely lotions, a single serve of easymac (a drunk man's best friend), a pin that reads, "Bitch covered bitch with a creamy bitch filling," a magnate that reads, "What happens over the rainbow stays over the rainbow," a box of purple chocolate candies (yes purple chocolate candies), a bumper sticker, "Sorry Girls, I'm Gay" (which I will be promptly delivering to the stage door of Spamalot), an air freshener that depicts a fellow drinking a cocktail that states, "Being an asshole is ALL Part of My Manly Essence," and (other than the Gramma Schmidt card) the piece de resistance:

My favorite magnets included are:
1. I HATE THE FACT THAT YOU PEOPLE DON'T SALUTE ME
2. HELL WAS FULL SO I CAME BACK
3. TAKE YOUR PROJECT ELSEWHERE (which is going ON MY DESK ON MONDAY)
4. But Enough About Me...What do YOU think of ME?
and finally
5. Treat Me No Differently Than You Would The QUEEN.

Easter Bunnay

Sooooooo, Friday Cricket and I caught the Fabulous Entourage, who were indeed fabulous. I heart them.

Saturday was spent doing nothingish until Willio came over and we chatted about the tiny tiny tiny one bedroom and studio apartments that are in our (his) price range. Sad. He may have to move to the UES and I may have to miss him. Then we saw Jumper, which we both thought was going to be the hottest comic-bookiest movie we'd ever seen. It wasn't. It was bad. And Hayden Christiansen wasn't EVER naked. GAWD!

Sunday was brunch with a crew of NYC orphans and then post-brunch drinks/convo about comedy, politics and ______. Then I passed out on my face at 8pm on the couch. When I awoke to get ready for work, my jaw felt like I'd been giving..."speeches" for hours. Luckily today, it is much better and I don't want to die.

TONIGHT IS Idol. Something to live for. w00t.

b6e.