Thursday, December 28, 2006



Darladiva, it was great exchanging gifts and drinking a million drinks while eating chips with assorted topings last night. Thanks for the chatting. We should do that schmidt much much more.

Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, here I sit at work. Woot woodle. I mean it got so bad this morning that I signed on to Friendster. FRIENDSTER. Oy. What to do with my life? We have a few shows and we've talked about ways of advancing our "acting" careers and stuff and stuff. I just sort of feel bored with life and not sure what to doodle. Darla's New Year's Resolution is not to have one and I think that's a good idea. Although, like 92.7% of all people I would like to look better in a bathing suit come summer time (and the livin' is easy). Sooooooooooo, I guess I might possibly could join a real gym instead of my rec center in chelsea where I never go. Hmmmmmm. Maybe. Being indecisive is well, eh I can't decide what it is. Oh well. Today during "lunch" I'm going to Bed Bath and Boodle to exchange my lovely knife block and knives because the block is missing a foot. Remember that episode of Six Feet Under where Claire steals a foot and puts it in her kind of boyfriend's locker because he told everyone and their dogs that she sucked his toes? Funny. I want to be Claire...sometimes. Other times I want to be a glam rock star aka nephew to Ziggy...Jazen Stardust. Is that bad? I could do covers of jazz standards but in a glam rock style. Yes? No. Okay then, maybe I could be a Lion Tamer. Eh. Julie Taymore took care of that schmidt. Oh well. Office drone it is. For today at least. Until I get home and I become a celebrity chef making spicy spicy food...for...myself. Alas. Le sigh.


Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Boxing Doodle

Chrismoodle is over. Yay. Boo. Cry. Smile. Doodle.

So I am very excited about being able to pay off some credit card debt in the near future! Freedom...almost!

Chrismoodle went well. I got a very nice knife set with block from The BF that I am very excited to begin using. Unfortunately I cannot begin using it because it is missing a piece so I have to go to Bed Bath and Boodle to get a new one that is not missing a piece. He also gave me a lovely grill pan. Funny, sort of, because I got him a grill pan which was to live at my apartment because we cook there on the weekends. So, we both have grill pans now. Gay. I also got some lovely kitchen utensils. I guess I am becoming a foodie or foodle as I call them. Whatevs. Domestic goddess that I'm not. What else? I got some cash from my Daddy which is nice. "For a night out in NYC." Yay! Not so indirectly I am getting to see Company because I got a pair of tickets for The BF and I for January 2nd. Woodle Hoodle! What did ya'll get???

The "shows" I saw:

Esoterica: Although I was tiiiiiiiiired from shopping and running around and stuff and stuff, this show was very very entertaining. He did a lot of "the oldest tricks in the book" and his patter was very well done. I would describe this as a very well crafted cabaret that uses standard magic tricks instead of songs, woven together by story-telling and such. He's a hottie.

Jerry Scott's Christmas Sing a Long: Danny's was completely packed to the hilt which is great. He asked Parker and I to perform You're a Mean One Mister Grinch and it went over very very well. Yay!

Butley: What a great play this is. I can't wait to pop over to Drama Book Shop to pick this one up. Nathan Lane did quite a good job, especially in the first act, to not be himself and to actually perform the role. Bravo Mr. Ham. I think he is a good contender for Best Actor, but not sure if he will actually get it. We'll see...

Vertical Hour: Also a good play, very verbose, and I definitely need to read this one before I can formulate my real opinion. All in all a seemingly smart piece, that needs some editing. Julianne Moore will not be walking away with the Tony even though she is a brilliant film actress. She is less than brilliant on the stage, I must say. Bill Nighy was quite good. Very odd. Very creepy. Will probably get nominated, but end up living on a comet or something. What?

White Christmas: We watched this movie Sunday night and finished it Monday morning. My goodness I love love love this film. It's magical to me. I still laugh at every joke and silly Danny Kaye nuance. I still get misty when General Waverly walks into the performance hall and sees all of his soldiers from days gone by. Single Tear. Love it! Want to live it.

Wizard of Oz: We watched this during breakfast. I'm torn between being the Scarecrow or the Tinman. What do you think?

Sound of Music: This we watched while cooking Christmas dinner and during the beginning of dinner. Good. Gay.

The Oblongs: I got this series on dvd for Sir Willio. What a f*cked up show. Funnny. Will Ferrel and Jean Smart are the main voices. Fun times/wrong laughter was had/heard by all. Woot.

That's all for now. Sitting at work waiting for the day to end so I can get home and grill something...anything...everything...doodle!


Friday, December 22, 2006


In this episode of The Office, Mr. Doodle got a substantial bonus!! Wooo hooo! What a great episode. Mr. Doodle took his list that his friend Marla Mae Meller More had told him to make but he didn't even need it. It was a very very fast meeting that Mr. Doodle had with the owner of the company MinuteFront Poodle. Although I did hear a preview of upcoming episodes this morning and I think there is still a distinct possibility that Mr. Doodle will be asked to leave, so I hope that his correspondence with Ms. Head does in fact provide Mr. Doodle with another viable option. I read in an online chat room for The Office that Ms. Head could possibly find Mr. Doodle a position at Goldman Sachs. Hmmm. I hope those chatters are correct. Anyhoodle, enough about TV. I am leaving work early today. I'm not sure when, but early. I'm going to finish up my shopping. Thanks to Darladiva I was able to buy something for each member of my family on amazon and get it shipped. Some of it will arrive on Tuesday which is good. Who knows when the rest will be there, but I will give them a call and let them know that some stuff had be coming even if it is after Santa's Birthday. I am seeing a magic-y show tonight called Esoterica. When I was in Back to the Fabulous, the 80's pop version of 12th Night, our Malvolio was this hottie with a shaved head. He's apparently a magician as well, because Esoterica stars him! Woot woot woodle. After that I'll be headed to Jerry Scott's Christmas Sing a Long at Dannys. I've been going over the words to Your're a Mean One Mister Grinch so I can sing it. Tomorrow matinee I am seeing Butley starring Nathan Lane. I hope he acts. I mean during the holidoodles, I enjoy a good ham. I'm not gonna lie. But come on Nathan, you should at least earn your Tony for Best Actor in a Play. We shall see. Tomorrow night, I think, I'll be headed across the street from Butley to see Julianne Moore who will probably be earning her Tony for Best Actress in a Play in The Vertical Hour. Then there'll be brunch on Sunday and then another sing a long at The BF's apartment for Christmas Eve. Then we are opening presents at his place, mostly because he has a fireplace for Xmas Eve which will be romantic a;sou0q203n, sorry I just threw up a little in my mouth. Breakfast and gifts on Monday morning then off to my apartment to make Christmas dinner. I got a turkey and a ham from my company so we're going to eat those and make some stuffing and maybe Gwen's corn-y goodness. I think The BF's Crazy Libra Friend will be joining for the sing a long and for the dinner because he is in NY all by his lonesome because his boyfriend is off visiting his family (who have no idea Crazy Libra Friend is even his boyfriend). Oy.

Have a Mary ChrismaHannuKwanzica! Doodle!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Up-doodle (not the hair style)

Hello all (three) of you. Update mcupdatetron. Ummmm:
I’m tired.
Okay bye.
Just kidding.
Last night I went to the Handel’s Messiah Sing A Long at Avery Fisher Hall in Lincoln Center. It was okay. I wish I had my own copy of the music because sharing did not work out. I couldn’t see the conductors. I also am not familiar enough with the bass part to be able to sight read well enough to not sound like a low-voiced drowned cat. There was a blind lady sitting in front of me and I felt bad for her overly sensitive ears. She had a very cute doggie though. He only howled a few times during the Hallelujah chorus, as should be expected. All in all, I wish I had had a voice lesson before going which doesn’t make it seem like a very entertaining evening. Anyhoo, it was a fun idea at least. Tonight I am seeing Kiki & Herb’s Christmas show at the Bowery Ballroom. I’ve never been there. Woo. It should be quite a different experience. In keeping with the holidoodle theme, I also saw the Grinch on Thursday. It was very cute and fun and cute. Did I say cute? I want to be the Grinch. They should hire me next year. I’ll work for scale. I WILL. I’m looking forward to the long weekends ahead. I am taking off January 2nd and 3rd, so I will only have to work 2 days that week. That had be is goodly. In this week’s episode of The Office, Mr. Doodle has “reached out” to his head hunter for some help for the new year. We shall had be see. Hopefully Ms. Head can help Mr. Doodle find some sort of bearable joy in a work place. Who knows? Also in this episode of The Office, the owners of the company where Mr. Doodle works, MinuteFront Poodle, have been calling people into their office one by one for the year end review/bonus talks. Mr. Doodle is nervous, but thanks to advice from his friend Marlene Mae Meller More he has assembled a list to help him with the chat. Wish Mr. Doodle luck. He is expecting a decrease in pay and to owe them some sort of fee for allowing him to work at MinuteFront Poodle. Hopefully, he’ll be wrong. One never knows. Enough about television. Tomorrow night I don’t have plans and I am quite excited about that. I can just go home after work and boil myself in a tub and go to bed at 8pm. Woot woot. Well, my faithful (three) readers, I hope you are pleased to have this update mcupdatetron. I shall try to be better about such things but honestly, my search for that ever elusive Will to Live keeps me quite bus-ay.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


Xmas Stocking
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Tuesday, December 12, 2006


Sick sick sick sick sickety sick. Oy freakin’ vey. Since Thursday I have had a flu-like something or other and it has been attacking me. STOP IT FLU-LIKE THING! With the current situation at work I haven’t felt totally comfortable taking a sick day. On Friday, for example, I knew Executive Assistant wouldn’t be in, so Assistant Assistant would be doing EA’s job which meant AA wouldn’t be available to help My Boss if I took the day off. So, feverish as all hell, I trudged into work, hoping that if My Boss took one look at me she would send me straight back home. Not so much. So, I asked her if we could try to get everything done by 12 or 1 so I could take a half sick day. We finished everything promptly by the time she always leaves, 4:00. So, after a trip to Duane Reade for some Nyquil and other such hopeful remedies, I trudged back home. The BF came over and made me some chicken soup and we just stayed in…basically the whole weekend. It came to Monday morning and I was still not better. Again, I considered not coming in, but knew that My Boss was taking a vacation day and that Assistant Assistant would be out because she had “an event” (she runs a theatre company on Long Island, woo). So I trudged my more feverished ass to work, again. Now I had made an appointment with my new doctor for Monday for 2pm so I decided I would ask if I could just leave after that. Apparently, I looked worse than I even imagined. They all agreed wholeheartedly. I went to my new doctor, Dr. Hot Salt N Pepper. He gave me a little test that came back negative for the flu. He said it was apparent I did have something (DUH! swoon), so he gave me a prescription for some antibiotics, and suggested I get some blood work done, and sent me on my way. Now it is Tuesday and thanks to the first dosage of pills I am feeling better. I really should have taken today off, but alas the guilt o’erwhelmed me and I do feel better than I have. Anyhoo, hopefully the drugs will continue to batter Mr. Evil Flu-Like Thing and I will be tip top by Saturday for Darladiva’s party. Woot. Anyhooo, that’s the update for now. Thrilling, I know. So, doodle your best to doodle in this sickness filled wintery wonder doodle. Doodle!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Happy happy happy happy talk. Talk about things you like to doodle.

After that horrendously angry ranty thing, I figure I should post something a little more positive. Top 10 “Things” I cannot live without in some particular order:

1. Vodka
2. Salsa, spicy enough to kill children in India by the fumes from here
3. Chips to go with said salsa
4. Friendship, friendship, such a perfect…you get it
5. The Parodivas
6. Manhattan
7. Broadway musicals
8. Perspective
9. Doodle
10. Vodka

What are 10 “things” you cannot live without? Food, water, and religion don’t count.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Curse, a rant

Fuck me on all four-letter words come screeching out of tight-white lips pursed in angry hatred for your quiet comments combatted by those little words held down deep inside my core, the pit of hell holding the soul searching burns like the wind, crisp like the air I refuse to exhale because the boiling bile bubbles into nothingness where the loneliness aches for something more and more I find you find yourself much stronger than you aren't. Take a step back because these tiny tiny words of ire will ignite a fire that scorches like acid rain drops on roses that melt like my now stifled anger.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Newdle post

Alas alack I have gotten some requests to update this muthafuckah and so here we go, yo. The show was a smashing success. We had some Brits and Lezbos in who didn't know any of us and I had a great time chatting with them. It gives you perspective which seems to be Jason's mantra of the year 27. It's all about perspective. The Brits seemed to think that this was the begining of a new comedy show that would be running at the Duplex. I wish. The lesbians thought it was the funniest thing they'd EVER seen and wanted to bring back their parents. What? I mean they were probably 35ish which means their parents are in their 60's. Hmm. My grandmother (no one tell her I said this) just turned 70. Now 70 is the new 60 and I know she would love a Parodivas show. Anyhoo. "When is the next one?" seemed to be the comment of the night. I don't know. It dawned on me today that Darlene and I should host a Parodivas Christmas sing a long open mic thing. Charge a nominal cover to pay for the room and then donate the rest to charity. Whachu think? The BF has agreed to play since he loves Christmas music, etc. I wouldn't normally want to work with him because mixing business with pleasure isn't wise, but since it's music he already knows and he wouldn't want to step in as a music director, I think it might work. I was thinking the performance space at New Dance Group might be a nice place for this...I think Gwen should do Have yourself a merry little Christmas and then I do not remember Christmas. Darlene and I would act as hosts and do some parodies and then we could all do some big group numbers with lyrics printed out for everyone, blah blah. Just a thought while we get to work on Ono or Hollywood or whatever.

Work is a nightmare. It's just really bad right now. I got a talking to from the co-owner of the company about my "performance" on Friday and it really made it a challenge to get focused and put on a good show. I'm a perfectionist. I don't like doing things I'm not good at. I know this. It's why I quit baseball. And soccer. And football. And tennis. And karate. And gymnastics. I loved basketball and was quite good at that, I just grew out of that and into choir. I'm glad. I digress. Yes, I've made mistakes in my job. Who hasn't? I feel that I am expected to job-share with my boss as opposed to being her assistant which is my title. Then, I am expected to provide the same quality of work that she does, even though she has 6 years of experience versus my 6 months. I mean, I am a smart and capable person. I am. This job is challenging and difficult and I dare them to find someone who can do it better. Whatever. I've basically been asked to kick it up a notch. The trouble and the reason I am worried and paranoid is that an hour after the talk, the one person at my office that I am "friends" with (the only person I invited to the show) came up to me to say goodbye...forever. She was fired. She had no idea. My company is clearly cleaning house before bonus time and I've been warned. Corporate America. I talked to my mom about it and I feel better. (in her charming southern ass way) "Honey, you can kick it up a notch. You are a fantastic actor, and I know you can do it." Alright mom. I'll try this out. I never thought I'd be hoping for a children's theatre tour or for the freedom that temping offers. I need to get in shape. I need to take some dance classes. I need to get my debt paid off. Because: While having sold my soul to corporate america to get my finances in order is okay. IT IS NOT PERMANENT!


Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Haiku-dle for you-dle

Go Down to Duplex
Parodivas Show You Things
Like Fairytale Blings

Duplex Dreams are Near
Broadway Dreams are still Quite Grey
Perspective: Power

Doodle Doodle Doo
Duplex Dreams are Coming True
Doodle Doodle Doo

Monday, November 27, 2006

Shame on Doodle=bad blogger

Wow, I haven't been back here in almost a week. I suck doodles. Well, it was an interesting holi-doodle. Fun mix of people and food and cats. I like the cat with the thumbs better than the fat one, but that's just my opinion. I ate enough to kill a donkey, so that means I'm a good American! Right?

The show is on Friday!! Wow. Scared. Excited. Wow.

I think I might be getting sick, so tonight I am going to take every vitamin, some echinacea, an acidopholous, a shot of noni, one penicilin, and 5 gallons of water. Die cold, die! I shall not succomb to thee.

I bought a very cute black shirt for the show. Now I just have to find some bling to wear on and or around said shirt. Woot.

Work is crazy busy. LEAVE ME ALONE RINGING PHONE!!!

I need to get through this day, get my rehearse on and then get to bed so I can make sure I don't get this cold. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!


Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Oh, it's a jolly holidoodle...

Last night I went to the sto and bought ingredients for the stuffing and then went by and got the turkey, yay! Thanksgiving on the UWS should be a delight. I made the stuffing from an Emiril recipe off of Food Network's website. It is cornbread stuffing with sausage in it. Yum-o (sorry Gwen). It's actually a little salty, surprise surprise, so tonight I'm going to try this trick that The BF suggested. You peel a potato and then cut it into slices. You insert the slices into the stuffing overnight and the potatoes suck up some of the salt. We shall see. Anyhoodle. So that was a fun night. Cooking and singing through the show and watching Deal or No Deal and Heroes. Woot woot. We have rehearsal tonight and then I'm seeing High Fidelity. I didn't really enjoy the movie, so I don't know why I'm even going to see a musical version, but alas, I am. I'll report back tomorry. I'm hoping that tomorry and Fridoodle are very quiet here at work, but since there is another conference on Mondoodle, maybe not so much. Blah blah blah de blah. Chad and his friend from the theatre where he works in PA will be in town today through Saturday or Sunday. He's always a handful of crazy when he's in NY (or any time for that matter). Stay tuned for mahem and probably mimosas. Mmmm. Mimosas. That stupid girl that served us on Sunday at brunch sucked donkey toes. Debbie Dumbass. I'll cut her. I'm "excited and scared" about how soon the show is. You know how that is. Rehearsals have been a blast though. Simply fun campy weirdness, and that's what we love to do. I'm proud of this one. It's a keeper.

Am I famous yet? Doodle.

Monday, November 20, 2006

A Holidoodle Tune for you, ewe, and youdle

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Parodivas comin' to town
They're making up jokes
Practicin' thrice;
Creatin' a show
That's naughty and nice
Parodivas comin' to town
They touch you when you're sleeping
Touch you when you're awake
They touch you if you're been bad or good
So be bad for goodness sake!
O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Parodivas comin' to town
Parodivas comin' to town

Friday, November 17, 2006

Fri-doodle: Faux Velvet Track Suits are NOT okay.

Uh uh. You better get back on the train that takes you to Penn Station. You better get off that train and walk to NJ Transit. You better get on that train that takes you to Weehawken. You better ride that train to NJ. You better get off at the station that says Weehawken. You better get in your burnt orange Plymouth Horizon and drive to your house on Busted Avenue. You better go in your house and find something else to put on because faux velvet track suits are NOT okay. Maybe then, your close-talking self will be bearable. Until then, to quote Gwen quoting a big black lady, "ooh, you better don't!"

rant fin.

Um, a different co-worker just came up and this was on the screen. She said, "I can't believe she's trying to get away with that. Jeans are one thing but..." I'm not alone.

Track Suit Fridays? Methinks doodle.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Practically doodle in every woodle: a reviewdle

"Practically perfect in every way." It really was a great show. A quintessential Broadway production, with all actors singing, dancing, and acting their hearts out. Earning their Equity minimum from 8 until moments before 11, still performing to a house full of standing o's. I wasn't so sure as of intermission, but by the time they did Steppin' Time, I was sold. What an amazing production number.
  • Ashley Brown was simply wonderful as Mary Poppins.
  • Gavin Lee was AMAZING. A true song and dance man. Jealous.
  • Wonderful music, including new songs
  • Dancing, dancing, dancing. Made me want to sign up for a dance class tomorrow
  • New characters and scenes that must be based on the book (which I haven't read)
  • There is a funny butler role that I want to play in the national tour. Gotta sign up for that class asap!
  • Beautiful, wonderful, perfect set
  • The Banks children were far less annoying than their exact counterparts in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
  • My seat was horribly uncomfortable and not suitable for anyone over 6ft. It was a few miles away from the stage, but I had the opera glasses so I could occasionally check in to see what their faces were doing.
  • There were 5 kagillion children.
  • The first act was too long; a few numbers should be snipped.
  • Gwen's role Mrs. Brill(which I'm pretty sure you (Gwen) read for a few times) was played by an actual British woman, so maybe that's why they chose her? She did that really high pitched voice immediately into the low pitched voice, lilty thing. Does that make sense? She was actually great and at one point received exit applause (love that) but I hate her because I love Gwen. Stupid Brit. Ps, the funny butler is in every scene with your character, so let's do the national tour together!!
  • Porno Lipped Marie's guy is in the show as the gayest statue ever! Ugh.

I paid $40 for an aisle seat in the balcony. It was worth it. Yes, I was uncomfortable, but I forgot about that. There were a few other wonderfully amazing terrific things that happened, but I don't want to spoil anything. Go see it. Yay!

Next week is High Fidelity which I'm nervous I might hate and then the following week is The Apple Tree with Kristen Chenoweth. THEN on Dec 1st is my Gotta get back to work at work so I can work on the show!


Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Hello all. Today is so much better than yesterday. I'm not feeling icky, work is pretty slow, I had a chance to update the script. Yay. We had a lovely rehearsal last night which gave us some great new ideas, some ideas about things that aren't quite working, etc. Hooray! I think we're going to just have a blast. I hope we pack the room to the hilt and have to book 5 additional dates and then take it on tour. Here's to hoping.

Heroes was pretty good last night, but I have to be honest, I was working on the show so I didn't pay too close attention. So, I don't have much to report. On Monday two of the members of the cast of Heroes are going to be signing merchandise at the NBC Experience store. I considered going, but I'm not ready to step up my geek status just yet. I'm okay with pseudo-geek. Geek-lite.

Tonight I'm seeing Mary Poppins! Yay! I'm in the balcony, but I'm going to bring Noodle's opera glasses, so it should be fine. I'm told she (Mary P, not Noodle) flies up there, so that could be cool. I hope there aren't too many children near by. Ugh. Ahh well. I'll report back on how the show is, but I'm very excited.

One of the chicas from work came by and said a bunch of the guys on the trading floor were getting manicures. Whah? It turns out a bunch of them were clipping their nails at their desks. Ew. We chatted a bit about what it must have been like 10 years ago for women on the trading floor. I mean it must be a little better, but the attitude would be hard to endure every day. I mean what the hell do I know? I ain't no chica, but I can only imagine. Oy.

Ahh to hear, "Five minutes to places."


Mr. Doodle

Monday, November 13, 2006

Mondoodles suck oodles

Ugh. I hate Mondays. Maybe I wouldn't hate them so much if I could wake up at 9 or 10. But when the alarm starts going off at 7 I just want to kill it. I am not wired to work a 9-5 job. I hate hate hate hate the morning time. I long for an 11-7 or dare I say it, a 7:30 PM call for an 8:00 curtain. Wouldn't that be loverly? Oh well. Soon enough I suppose.

Anyhoo the Parodivas are meeting with two of our cast members tonight. It's fun to say that. We're going to work on patter and such. At least I have something to look forward to. Yay! I think this is going to be a very fun show and I hope we get a nice crowd.

That's all for now, maybe more when I'm in a better non-Monday mood.


Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Parodivas are PARADOODLED!!!

We're premiering our new show at The Duplex! Yayyayyayayayayayyyyyyy! Everything has been confirmed, so I don't feel paranoid about announcing it to the world!!! Check out our website for all the details.

We'll be featuring some friends and we'll be doing a parody of a song suggested by someone who entered our contest. Oooooh. Ahhhhh.

Anyhoo, I am excited and so is Darladiva and our Parodiva Pals.

That's all for now, I've got a script to polish. And a Polish sausage to eat.


Tuesday, November 07, 2006

36th Post Tuesdle

Woot woot. Workin' out the new layout. I was tired of scrolling through Mexican blogs and seeing the EXACT same template as mine. Sooooo, changed and changed. I'm not quite used to it and if I knew more about html it would look a little better, but at least it's not conformative or whatever. Damn the man and stuff. Friday Night Lights is about to start, so I can't write for long. Hottie football guys and the skanks who love them (like me). Oooooh election results are on. Will the Democrats take over the world? We shall see. Oooh, first black governor in Massachusetts. You go MA, go. The twirls can get married in MA and it's governed by a black man. Holllah! Okay, they're going a bit crazy with the not showing me my football soap opera. Ummm, politics are neat and all, but ain't none of them heading for the showers. Ooh, I'm so naughty. And such a fan of ooooooh ing. Okay, just saw a hottie. Yay! It's on. So dramatical. So masculinical. So doodlical. Anyhoo, I'm off to make some burritos and drink some vodka while watching the boob tube. Hmmm boobs? I guess.


Monday, November 06, 2006

Mon-doodles are eh.

Hi. Boy oh boy it's been a long life. My job has been pretty stressful lately and it leaves me wondering, why oh why am I working in finance. But, as Darladiva and I pass the new script via email back and forth, it all seems okay. This job pays my rent and (sometimes) affords me the time to work on shows at my desk. That's why, I suppose. I just can't wait to get rid of my debt so I can feel freer. Until that time I feel I have to stay in a job like this one in order to get the bills paid. I hate feeling trapped. I guess everyone feels trapped in their respective jobs at some time, right? I had quite a big problem at work on Friday and it left me feeling upset and nervous and doubtful of whether or not I even want to keep working at a "day job." I just don't feel appreciated, which is fine, really, because these people don't even know what I'm capable of. They think I'm a dumb kid who calls himself a playwright, which I don't...they do. Oy. Now, the question is whether or not I invite these people to our next show. Hmmm. I just don't know. I guess I'll just see how I feel when the time of the show is closer. Speaking of which, we should be doing an email blast something or other this week about the new show. It's coming together. "bit by bit..."

Heroes tonight, yay!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Fri-doodle. Thank Google.

Morning all, I hope you are as excited as I am that it is FINALLY Friday. I checked with Guiness and it is officially the longest week ever. Time for some Guiness to unwind from this week, and by Guiness I mean vodka. Gallons and gallons of vodka and mimosa and bloody mary mix and burgers and eggs benedict and theatre and friendly rendez-vous. That is what the weekend means to me. I'm really enjoying the weather. It's not cold enough yet for me to have to wear a scarf and gloves. I love jacket weather because I love jackets and sweaters and layering. Today I'm wearing a pink shirt under a black sweater. I'm so preppy. Preppy McDoodle. I'm waiting for Darladiva to start emailing me. I don't know where she had be at. Maybe her job is making her work. Gawd! LEAVE HER ALONE! This morning has been very quiet at work, thank goodness. After the past two weeks of hell, it's nice to have a breather and actually take a moment to write something here.

Tonight The Divine Miss Gwen has organized a little outing of sorts. A group of us is going to see Love, Death, and Interior Decorating (an evening of one-act plays). She got a bunch of comps from a guy who did the pr for a show she was in a little while ago. A show in which she got a fabulous mention in The Times. Go Gwen, go. The plays are by "an emerging young playwright by the name of Keith Boynton." We shall see. Fun times.

Other than this little gathering tonight I don't really have anything planned. While I love this, the BF tends to like solid plans and an itinerary. Since all I do all day during the week is put together itineraries, I tend to hate them. Oy. Anyhoo. I feel like it's a good weekend for curling up and reading a play or watching dvds. Maybe he'll be into that. We shall see. And of course I'll have to have brunch either Saturday or Sunday or both. Brunch is love.

Darladiva and I have come up with yet another concept for a cabaret. It seems this will be the one we will go with if we can get everything lined up very very soon. We're very excited to get to work and we'll keep you posted. Check out her blog especially on Thursdays because she posts her wonderful poetry there. She's pretty darn terrific if I do say so myself. And I do say so myself. So there. It's said.

I'm realizing, since there's nothing on TV except for campaign ads, that I probably need to do some research if I'm going to vote on Tuesday. Is it bad to just select the Democratic candidate? Is it bad that I don't even know who Spitzer is running against? Ah well. I'll just write in Fiorello.


Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Halloween? Whence did thee become LAME?

I am so over Halloween. The BF made orange cocktails, carved a pumpkin (last weekend), and played scary music while we got ready to go to the human traffic jam/true nightmare that is the Halloween Parade in the Village. All we (although not so much me) wanted to do was to show off our Grey Gardens costumes at Maries, sing a showtune or two and go on our merry way. Easier said than done. It was an absolute jumble-fuck trying to get there. The BF decided we had to walk the 30 blocks or so, and even if he hadn't decided that, a cab was impossible. I was in heels that I bought for $1. Not so comfy. I took them off and sacrificed the feet of my three pairs of stockings. What the fuck ever, I WAS IN PAIN. Once in the Village we made it across the street to Maries but could not actually GET there because of angry angry hippos, I mean police, who wanted us to die. We had to walk (some more) around the very full (I'm talking body to body wall to wall annoying pretty pretty princesses elbowing me in the side to get by) block to get there. We get there and there are no regulars. Who are all these people and who told them about this gem of a dive piano bar? Whoever it is should die. To top it off, some other queen was wearing almost exactly what I was wearing. Keep in mind I had to make most of my costume, so this was most annoying. Stupid fag has the same damn idea I had. Stupd McStupid. So, we left. We tried Rose's Turn, but it was even worse. So we decided we would try to get a cab. We were not successful for a long long time. By this point my feet are DYING. I had a quick grievance ceremony for them once we finally got into a cab. I thought FOR SURE, the night was through, but The BF insisted on going to one more bar. Fine. It was still pretty early. We got drinks and I sat in a corner watching a Bat and Dorothy dance. He went out to smoke and was gone forever. He was gone for 30 minutes. I finally got pissed and paranoid and went to find him. As I was walking out he was on his way back in. "Oh, I'm glad you came out here, I want you to meet my new friend, he loves Grey Gardens!" I will cut this new "friend" who's young and cute. Mm mm no. Whatever, I got mad at The BF and told him I was leaving. He gave in and thank god, I rushed to the corner with my now bare feet and grabbed a cab home. All in all it was a mish mash jumble of mish mosh and puh puh, no thank you.

Please someone, can you have a party next year? I simply CANNOT do this again.


Tonight I'm going to relax and watch tv and try not to think about work or Halloween or anything. Yay!

I should have gone as a Magna-Doodle.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Ain't right

Well, I really don't want this blog to turn into a rant about my job, but it seems that it is. I haven't written in a while because for the past twodle days I've had to wake up at butt crack of dawn to get to The New York Palace Hotel for our Turkish Conference 2006. Oy. I busily signed people in, told them where their meetings were and when and where lunch would occur. Monday, I did that from 7-3 and then had to come back to the office from 3-6! Then, Monday night I went with a group of people to see Evil Dead the Musical. It was a fun crazy weird show. I've never seen the movies, so I missed a lot of inside stuff, but didn't care. Fun times. I'd love for my job to be playing a singing zombie instead of pretending that office work doesn't turn me into a non-singing zombie corporate droid sell out. Oooh, angry doodle. Today, I awoke again at negative am and hopped in a cab to the NYPH. Woo. I was finished earlier today, back at the office around 11 to do all the work that my boss and I have been neglecting do to said conference. I got a request from Darladiva to make a return to my blog and so here we are. I didn't get a chance to see Heroes last night because of the show, but I taped it and watched about 30 seconds of it before passing out. Tonight, The BF and I are going to the parade dressed as the real life characters from the documentary Grey Gardens, now a broadway show. I'm too tired to imagine how tired I'll be after tonight, I'm in denial. Anyhoo, I'm REALLY looking forward to tomorrow night because I DON'T HAVE PLANS and I will have (hopefully) slept until at least 8am. We shall see. Daylight Stupid Savings Time RUINED. RUINED I SAY!!!!

Angry McDoodle

Friday, October 27, 2006

Doodle Light Savings Time

If e'er there w'ere a doodle who would like an hour more of rest on Mondoodle it's MOODLE! Well, it turns out that I have been volunteered to work our Turkish Conference at the Palace Hotel on Mondoodle and Tuesdle. Guess what time I have to be there? 7am. in a suit.

Hey BuddhaJesusKwanzaMadonna, can I catch a break? Can I catch one? Oy freakin' vey people. Oy freakin' doodle vey.

I just don't have doodles to describe how this makes me feel. To quote the movie (and musical) Wedding Singer, "I'm on my knees, pretty pretty please KILL ME! I WANT TO DIE. PUT A BULLET IN MY HE-EH-EH-EH-AD!"
Think The BF will mind going to bed at 8pm on Sunday?

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Past Posting Thursday

So new blogger Gwen blogged a bit about Bebe and I commented about the time I met Chita Rivera. Well, I found an old post on an old blog about that night, so I thought I'd post it.

Okay. I saw Chita Rivera, The Dancer's Life last night. This was my second time seeing this legend in her autobiographical Broadway show. Why, you ask, would I need to see this show for a second time? Well, the answer is Dick van Dyke. I got to see two legends on a Broadway stage, together. It was amazing to say the least. Chita and Dick worked together on Broadway in the musical, Bye Bye Birdie. Dick came out onto the stage and was given the entrance applause he truly deserved. He then danced and sang the well-known song from Bye Bye Birdie, Put on a Happy Face. He was adorable, and he's 82! Then the two danced and sang Rosie. Adorable. Dick van Dyke received an amazing standing ovation that swept through the theatre. One lady in the front row stood and it was like when a crowd at a sports arena does the wave. We all leapt to our feet. We waited outside at the stage door, hoping Dick and Chita would sign our playbills. We waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, Dick van Dyke came out, smiled, waved, posed for a few pictures and got into his car. No autographs. Sad, but understandable. Luckily, when Chita came out, she was very attentive to the fans (still) waiting. She came up to sign my playbill and I remarked, "You look hot." Her reply was, "Oooh, I like that." Then as she was signing she said, "soo cute." So, that's that. I saw an American icon, Dick van Dyke sing and dance with a Broadway legend Chita Rivera, who thinks I'm "soo cute." I'd say that's one for the books.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Wednesdoodle Octoodle Twenty Foodle, Twoodle Thousand Six

Dear me,
"She works hard for the money, so hard for the money, she works hard for the money so you'd better trear her right." I know that's right. You better treat me right cuz I am WORKIN'. dammnit. I believe I actually have a break. I mean I know I have a whole bunch of stuff to do in about 20 minutes, but for right now, right now, this instance, I AM FREE. Well as free as one can be when below his desk is an iron anklet. I'm such a victim, I know. We have a group of people from Kazakstan meeting in our Board Room upstairs, but unfortunately none of them is Borat. I looked. He's not here.

Tonight I'm seeing Suburbia at my old workplace 2econd 2tage Theatre. WOOOOO. I have no idea what it is about, but I'm pretty sure there's a Culkin in it somewhere. Better than having a gerkin in somewhere else, or is it? Coincidentally Darladiva and Smoosh (no I'm not allowed to call him this, but I did it anyway, ha!) are seeing the show as well. They also used to be indentured to 2econd 2tage. Luckily we've all moved on to much more fulfilling jobs...Okay I'm back from the bathroom. I hope the show is good, but mostly I hope it is 90 minutes without an intermission. Is that bad? Eh, I don't care. The tickets were free. Yay!

You'll all be happy to know that my plant Chen is doing quite well. I bought him that week that I cared about feng shui. He's really all that remains of that fad. Yes, I am a silly faddot. I hope that the blogging is not one of these fads, but we'll see, right?

Macoosh is running for Blog Class President or something, so check out her blog and then vote for her. Yay!

Heroes was great this week. I don't have much to add, but I'm sufficiently addicted.

My dear friend Cricket will be moving back to New York very soon. Check out his blog for the full story.

Literally yours,

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Tuesdles are for Doodles

Doodle everyone, doodle.

Let's see, whence shall I start? Okay, on Friday night I saw the Tribute to Jerome Kern (yawn). It was quite boring. The creator, cabaret reviewer extraordinaire Scott Seigel, has an interesting concept, I must say. That is, he has created a cabaret of sorts in which he does all the patter and Broadway and Cabaret stars do all the numbers. While the concept is interesting, the patter was not. Well, not to say that the little tidbits of history, etc weren't interesting, and they are definitely necessary in cabaret patter, but his delivery was so drab. I mean, how hard is it to get Charles Busch to come out (he he) for one night to host a cabaret show thing? Anyhoo, I'd also like to hear some patter about Jerome Kern that isn't simply timelines and such. Who was he in love with? Why did he write such beautiful melodies? Who was his muse? Did he have sex with the Gershwins? You know. Anyhoo, when the Parodivas rule the world...

Saturday was spent brunching with The BF, BF's Friend from Ohio, BF's Crazy Libra Friend, and Doodle's truly at the FCC. It was a lovely brunch indeed, but I kept thinking it was Sunday because, honestly, who brunches on Saturdays? Then, The BF and I were supposed to go to a Haunted House, but it was sold out. So we proceded to Sandi's going away shin dig. She's off to do Singin' in the Rain (again). She and I became friends (and pretend spouses) the first time she (and I) did Singin'. She played the female diction coach, and I the male. As we were supposed to meet back up with BF's Crazy Libra Friend, we just popped in, hugged, bought her a drink, did a few shots, and went on our merry way. She looks great and showed us the choreography she was made to do at the dance call for The Little Mermaid. High-larious. Love you Sandi, and I look forward to your stories of Singin' Round 2. Send 'em to me and I'll post them here. Drinks with BF's CLF were great. We went to Danny's and Jerry asked me to sing. I obliged, and for once The BF didn't say something rude or critical. He just said "That was nice." This is probably the best compliment he has ever given me after singing at Danny's, and honestly I think BF's CLF told him what to say so that I wouldn't get upset. Whatever. I don't need his praise, I just feel I deserve it. Does that make sense?

On Sunday, we had tickets to Spamalot. We brunched at FCC (again) before heading over to the show. We sat at the bar and met a lovely lovely lesbian named Elizabeth. While no one could ever replace our Veluptuous Vanessa, this chick did a pretty good job keeping the booze flowing, and maybe Noodle can have a threesome with her and her girlfriend Janet. Yay! Spamalot was okay. It would have been a riot with the original cast. It was decent with this cast. I haven't seen the Monty Python movies, really, so I think I missed a lot of inside jokes. Anyhoo, it was fun.

After Spamalot, The BF and I went to the haunted house that was sold out the previous night. It was just okay. It honestly does't even need reviewing. Eh.

In other news, my dear friend Gwen has started a blog. Gwen is hot! Check her out. You know you want it.

Thanks to Noodle for my lovely birthday gift. It is a leather flask, that came with four little shot glasses. It's wonderful. Thanks Noodle!

I will talk about Heroes in the next post. I'm just glad to have gotten to say a little something before getting to work. Boo-dle. Boo-dle, I say!

Thursday, October 19, 2006


No, I don't watch it, but Julie, Macoosh, and Noodle doodle, so I'dle did the doodle. I identify most with Jack. Yes, I am a hunky leading man. I am never getting written off the show!! I know that much! Paycheck! This is all heresay, by the way. Lost chicas, does this make sense with my personality?

Exhaustoodled, Indoodle.

Wow, it has just been one heck of a week. I am so glad that tomorrow is Friday, even though Fridays are my busiest days, at least if I can get through it, it will be the weekend. Tomorrow night I am seeing:

"Kern composed hundreds of songs; melodious, poignant, wistful, tender and utterly enchanting. He brought to the treasury of American Song the wealth of his own great talent, and enriched the American scene for his being part of it." - Judy Garland
Three-time Grammy winner Lari White, Tony winner Cady Huffman, Tony nominees Michel Bell and Stephen Bogardus, Drama Desk nominees Nancy Anderson Leslie Kritzer, Julia Murney, Theatre World Award winner Deven May and Michael Winther, Broadway stars Ron Bohmer, Joyce Chittick, Sean Martin Hingston, Noah Racey, Nightlife Award winners Julie Reyburn and Carolyn Montgomery pay tribute to the composer that wrote over 1,000 songs and 100 complete scores. Some of his best known works are Showboat, Sweet Adeline, Roberta, Music Is In The Air, Leave It To Jane and more.

I'm excited about it. I think it should prove to be a lovely evening. And what a way to forget a long and arduous week.

On Saturday, I will most likely have brunch with The BF and his friend who will be in town visiting. Then, The BF wants to go to a haunted house. I know, I know, it doesn't sound like something I'd want to do, but it could be fun, right? I hope it doesn't suck. My friend Sandi from Singin' in the Rain is leaving town to go and do Singin' in the Rain (again) and so she is having a going away for a little while party at which I hope to make an appearance. Then, I am seeing Spamalot on Sunday. Woo hoo! There are lots of great shows about to open on Broadway this season, so it's good that I'm getting to catch this show that I missed. I am most excited about Grey Gardens, Company (which I saw in Cincinatti), The Grinch, The Violet Hour, Mary Poppins, basically everything. I sure am gay.

On that note I bid you a fabulous ciao dahling, I mean, doodling.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Tag-oodled by Macoosh-le, AGAIN!

Nine weird things about me, then I'm supposed to tag nine people. Macoosh, I don't know nine people, but I'll make Noodle do it, and can we share Darladiva and Julie?

  1. I sleep in corpse position. I cross my arms over my chest and don't move all night.

  2. I used to have a Southern accent. I mean serious serious acksynt.

  3. I use the word doodle and it's derivatives the way the Smurfs use the word smurf. "I'm going to put the doodle on the diddle, Okay'dle? You're a doll-dle.

  4. When I was a kid I wanted to be a lawyer because I LOVED Matlock. My family was (my Grandoodle still is) disappointed to find out I didn't want to BE a lawyer, I wanted to PLAY one. Someday.

  5. My father is a chainsaw artist. He makes bears and things out of trees with a chainsaw.

  6. I sometimes shave in bed because I'm too tired to get my ass to the bathroom.

  7. I was a math whiz in high school. I went through College Calculus 3 and Physics. I aced the AP Calc exam for what? why? I quit as soon as I started college and never used that side of my brain again.

  8. I think crying from eating spicy food is a great thing.

  9. I meant to become an opera singer, but got distracted. Woops! Cabaret it is!

Noodle, Cricket, and William you're tagged. You can do so as a comment if you don't have a blog (William).

Jason is too busy to DOODLE?? Ain't right.

Wow. The past two-dle days have been the busiest days EVER at work. So busy, in fact, that I haven't had time to doodle on my blog, read my personal email, chat with my fellow Parodiva, Darladiva (who now has her own blog that I haven't had time to read), brainstorm ideas for the THREE NEW SHOWS she has suggested!!, basically I've had to WORK at my JOB!! Oy. So instead of waiting until the afternoon, when I used to have oodles of time to doodle, I've decided to write something first thing and ignore the pile of stuff sitting over there <--- that I didn't finish yesterday. DAMN THE MAN, or whatever. So, here's what I've been meaning to say:
  • Yay! Darladiva has a blog now: To the Left of Right
  • Macoosh is a blogging rockstar and always deserves a looksie, and yes she answered MY question on Ask Macoosh this week, so I want you to find out the answer: What are the pros/cons of the Irish hair and skin tones that hath been bestowed upon thee?
  • Heroes was great this week! Claire, the cheerleader, is hands down my favorite character. I find her power of rapid cell regeneration (i.e. can heal super fast from any injury) really cool. She did in fact exact her revenge upon Attempted Rape Guy and it rocked! The other story-lines are progressing nicely as well. Woo hoo! What shows are you obsessed with? Which character's storyline is most fascinating?
  • Continuing with the TV talk, Friday Night Lights is also a great show. It's funny because when you look at me, talk to me, are friends with me, see me on the street, you think I'm a Noel Coward type and so I would have no interest in a show about football, but surprisingly because of my former life as a Texan I can really relate to this show. It's crazy! I don't want to go back there, but I know these characters, I've met them and interacted with them, and often hated them, but find them fascinating nonetheless.
  • Noodle is still on tour. Check her out. She has to invite you to view the blog, but if you ask nicely I'm sure she'll let you. You may have to ask me to ask her, but I'm sure if you ask nicely I'll do that for you.
  • My dear friend Cricket is a hottie Jack of All Trades these days, check out his site and see if he can clear your mind and teach you the art of yoga, star in your musical revue-dle, build you a house, or babysit your children.

That's it for now. Doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle. Daily usage of the word doodle for toodle-day:

"What's the name of the guy that fronts that band, um... you know the one?" Dr. Doodle McDiddle? "Yes."

Friday, October 13, 2006

Noodle's Tour problems, Doodle's Advice

So Noodle has been touring the country for what seems like ages on like 5 different tours. The current one is issue-based theatre in which she plays a bully in one play and then gets bullied in another. Well, offstage it seems there is some emotional bullying going on. I encouraged her when she said she wanted to create a blog for the tour, to keep her family and friends updated, and to do some venting. Informational and therapeutic all at the same time. Not to mention I've become Crazy Blog Doodle this week. Hooray. So in a recent post on her blog she talked of several issues. I will lay them out for you:
  • #1 problem is a lack of proper communication
  • She is 26, the other actors are younger (22, 23, 23).
  • Girl has done this schmidt before, A LOT (They ain't done too much).
  • She has a BIG personality, that she has to keep in check in this situation
  • The company KEEPS messing up their checks. Every Week!!
  • Let's faceit, they live, work, breathe, eat, & sleep basically attached to each other's hips 24/7, it's a potentially stressful situation
  • Moody mood mood moodley moody! It seems like someone is always in a bad mood or pouting or not talking to someone or some other such nonsense

Anyhoodle, you get the idea. Here's what I posted on her site as a bit of advice. She wrote back saying it was good advice and I sounded like an adult and that made me feel good, so I'm posting it here:

Dearest Noodle:

I think your suggestion to simply say "Hey everyone, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, stand back." is a great one. Unfortunately, I think the age difference is what is showing here. When one is not mature enough to address his feelings they just get muddled and come out as frustrated shrugging and such. I find that someone pouting in a corner is waiting desperately for you to come by and tap them on the shoulder. Then when the response is a shrug, it's a cry to ask again. I say leave 'em in the corner. He put himself there, he can bring himself out, and if he can't it's not your responsibility. As for the paychecks, you absolutely did the right thing by demanding they fix the problem immediately and give you ALL the money owed, and the kids who didn't request being compensated should have for the principle if not for the need of the actual money. You know how I am with my money. You can touch my best friend, but you better not touch my money! Hang in there. I find that performers who have not gone through experiences like this don't appreciate it when they get a really good gig with really great and professional people. You'll appreciate it so much more because you will have perspective and that rocks.

When it all boils down to it though, Doodle,
Jason B

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Doodle Twenty Twoodle: Bedtime Bear(s)

For some reason I am thinking about Bedtime Bear right now. I love Bedtime Bear. Of all the Care Bears, he has always been my favorite. Don't get me wrong, Tenderheart Bear and of course the Care Bear Cousin Lotsa Heart Elephant come close to being my favorite, but Bedtime Bear wins. I told this story in my second solo cabaret, Jason B. Schmidt the 'B' Stands for BULL, so why not tell it here in the 'B' Stands for BLOG. Older Brother's favorite Care Bear was also Bedtime Bear. Do you think we could share a Bedtime Bear? Ohhh no. We both had our own Bedtime Bears. Now they were quite different of course. His Bedtime Bear loved adventure and exploring and being outdoors. While my Bedtime Bear preferred afternoon tea parties. One time Older Brother attached Bedtime Bear to a parachute. He then climbed up onto our fence. He thrust Bedtime Bear into the air and as resounded through our house, "Bedtime Bear flew! He really flew!" When this news made it to my room where my Bedtime Bear was having a spot of earl grey, he simply turned to Barbie and Jem, rolled his eyes, and went back to discussing the inadequacies of Ken. Older Brother really does, to this day, believe that Bedtime Bear flew. I guess he and his Bedtime Bear are the only ones who know the truth. Back when I did The 'B' Stands for BULL, I had Moo-Moodle go through her garage to find the two Bedtime Bears. Luckily she found them, so I go to show the audience the real life double Bedtime Bears. Fun stuff. I loved having stuffed animals as a kid. That's where my love for acting truly began. Each one had it's own voice, it's own character, it's own storyline. The Care Bears would often be enlisted to help The Popples on some adventure, or The Wuzzles would be asked to help conquer Skeletor. They were my best friends. It's funny to think back to those times.

What were some of your favorite toys growing up?
Obvious Answer for Jason B: Magna-Doodle!!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Twenty First-oodle: A building on fire in NYC

Hey doodles. I just got a call from The BF asking if I had heard about this plane that flew into a building on the Upper East Side. No, no I hadn't. It's all very breaking news at this point, but what I have gathered from various news sites, a small aircraft, most likely a helicopter crashed into a high rise on 72nd Street and York. It caused a loud boom and burning debris rained down from the building. On the lower floors of the building is a hospital and the top floors are apartments. So far nothing has been reported regarding injuries. The BF, who works on 57th and 5th, not too far from there, in a very tall building, was very very nervous and wondering why everyone else in his office was so calm. I think it's an interesting thing that even after 911 New Yorkers still act as New York-y as ever. I know this is a blanket statement and a generalization and I should be drowned, but give me a second. You hear so many stories of people who get mugged on the subway platform and dozens of people stand idly by without lending a hand or seeking help. I know that when I had a similar experience to that no one, even the MTA attendant batted an eyelash. "You have to live your life." "You can't live in fear." etc. And while I believe this, The BF has a point. "The reason a lot of the people died in 911 was because they stayed too calm, and stayed where they were instead of evacuating." Anyhoodle it's a bit scary. Scary that planes can crash into buildings, scary that the people around you on the subway platform would rather look the other way than be bothered by a mere mugging, scary that I don't know if I'm any different from those people. Most likely not. Here's hoping everything turns out okay for the people involved in this accident.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Twent-oodle-ieth Post: Heroes

In an effort to be more "bloggy" as Macoosh said, I have returned to post one day after my last post, which if you scroll through the Doodle A Day history, you will see is a rarity and I daresay a n'erity. In today's post I will chat about Heroes last night .

It was a very good episode. I think Claire the cheerleader is my favorite, and due to the ending I think her story line is about to get crazy interesting. She's the one who if injured, heals really really fast. i.e. Wolverine in the X-Men. She, of course, just yearns to be "normal," and wants nothing to do with her special gift. In an attempt to do so, she winds up at a bonfire where all the football jocks and cheerleading chicas are hanging out drinking beer, as TV high school kids are want to do. I don't remember ever chilling with a kegger in high school, but maybe that's just me. I was too busy learning to use spirit gum to fasten a fake beard to my face for Fiddler on the Roof. Anyhoo, the very cute quarterback lures the drooling Claire to a secluded set of bleachers. They start making out, but the naughty quarterback of course wants more. He begins to force himself onto her and she tries to fight him off. He ends up pushing her off the bleachers and she falls backward onto a log and impales her neck. She doesn't heal from this, as she has previously healed from her other injuries. It seems like she's dead! Oh no, my favorite character, written off the show so soon? Noooooooooooooo! Well, thankfully, in a cliffhanger ending, the final shot is Claire is on an operating table, in a dark basement-like place, her chest has been sliced completely open, and all her ribs are showing! WTF? Can't wait until next week to find out when, where, why and who.

As for the other characters, their stories are now bringing them closer and closer to each other. Annoying Asian Teleportation Man calls Heroin Addicted Clairvoyant Artist, because said Artist is the author of the comic book that is predicting AATM's life. Wow, that sentence is confusing. Then, HACA's girlfriend has left him and now she's canoodling with Hottie McFlying Guy. It seems that Hottie McIndian Fellow (who doesn't seem to have any power, just the hunger to prove his Dead Daddy the Professor right, and find these special people, namely the elusive psychotic killer Sylar) will soon be interacting with Mind Reading Guy who is now working with the FBI to find Sylar. Sylar has crazy telekinetic power, enough to make FBI Chica put her own gun to her head! After being shot, Sylar, much like Claire, is basically unaffected by the bullet wounds, and heals instantly. No wonder I like this show. It's like Young and the Restless for the 16 year old Dungeons and Dragons Player in my mind! Anyhoo, if this sounds at all interesting to you, watch the first three episodes online. And if you're really feeling geeky, as I did today, you can check out the special online only comic books, that delve further into the story. Okay, that's that for now.

Tonight is Friday Night Lights. Woo hoo.

And as always, when watching TV or otherwise, remember...Doodle.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Columbus Doodle, my 19th doodle

Hello all you lovely doodles and doodlettes. Todoodle is Columbus Doodle in the United States. It is a doodle to celebrate the first doodle Christopher Columbus reached America back in 1492-00dle after having sailed the ocean blue-dle. I heard some grumbling from theatre lady who sits near my cubicle that we should in fact be celebrating Leif Erikson Doodle. You know, Darladiva and I wrote an entire cabaret about unknown and underappreciated holidoodles, and ne'er once did either of us come across this doodle. I find that odd. I guess we failed, but have you ever heard of Leif Erikson? I'm trying desperately to access the files of my mind that contain all the schmidt I had to memorize in AP American History, but alas, no Leif Erikson. He led the first Europeans here. I'm mostly German so I'd like to thank him for that. Thanks Leif, thanks.

I'd much rather be at home "celebrating" today by watching Oprah because you see, I'm a hypochondriac and they have a kind-of-cutie doctor answering questions on today. Oh well. Instead I am here at work not "celebrating" because my office does not observe Columbus Day, Leif Erikson Day, or Canadian Thanksgiving Day (which is also today incidentally). We are an international firm so we don't celebrate United States specific holidays. So we're all here type type typing away. But, I only have to work for about 2 more hours and then I can GO HOME!!!

Tonight I am going to watch Heroes which is quickly becoming my new favorite show. The other new one that I secretly (until now) enjoy is Friday Night Lights. These two shows are both wonderful new additions to my television enjoying time. I like Heroes because I've always wanted to be a super hero or villain. My super villain name, and I'm seriously considering writing a show or something around this character, maybe with Darladiva as the super hero, ready for it...The Randy Dandy! I picture him very Paul Lynde, Charles Nelson Reilly, Jason B. Schmidt-esque. I like Friday Night Lights because it reminds me of my former life as a southerner, and it has hotness all over the screen, both male and female. Yum-o. Hmm, nothing else to talk about as of now. Waiting for Darladiva to get back from her honeymoon so we can start working on either developing the poetry play we put up last winter, or the new cabaret. We shall see.

Going back to "pretend" work while "celebrating" history...


Wednesday, October 04, 2006


I don't quite know what it means, but I've been tagged by Macoosh, which I have surmised means she is forcing me to blog with a topic that was posed to her by some other bloggerific chica. I am attempting to master the art of putting links into my doodles. That sounds naughty. Here's the meme. I have no idea what that memes, I mean means.

What are the top five songs you want played at your funeral?

1. Simply the Best by Tina Turner because when I hear this song I feel like a rockstar.
2. River Deep Mountain High by Celine Dion because when I hear this song I feel like a drag queen.
3. Feeling Good most recently by Michael Buble, but really from the musical The Roar of the Greasepaint the Smell of the Crowd because when I sing this song I feel like a Broadway belting crooner machine.
4. In the Garden because though I don't believe in God, my Moodle and Granonanoodle do, and we love to sing this song in harmony when we get a little drunk at family gatherings. I'm assuming my funeral will be a general booze fest.
5. Suddenly Jason a parody that Noodle will have to write and perform because that's what friends are for which is a song that will not be played.

Should I have everyone doodle on my coffin? Eww, am I going to have a coffin? Grind up my ashes and infuse them into a bottle of Grey Goose and put me on the shelf with the other alcohol(ics).

May I rest in a piece (of ass). Doodle.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Birth-doodles complete

Happy Birthday to all the fabulous Libras and almost-Libras out there in the world!
9/21 - Chad Alan
9/26 - Doodle's truly
9/28 - Mark
9/29 - Josh
9/29 - Aunt Tammy

These are the libras in my life. Truly marvelous human beings whose mission in life is to keep things balanced. Hollah!

I saw A Chorus Line for my birthday. It was a really great evening. I've never seen it before and was very very entertained. There are wonderful stories told beautifully through movement, song, and speech. I definitely had one of those "man, I wish I could be up there" moments. I love those. Even though I clearly know I'm a Dance 2, Looks 5, and I'd have to take dance from dusk til dawn for 5 years, I still couldn't help thinking, "I can do that, I can do that!"

Well, I'm 27 now. Officially late 20's. FUN TIMES!!??

Thursday, September 21, 2006

oodles and oodles of Birth-doodles

Hoodle Birth-doodle Choodle!
Toodle is m'oodle doodle froodle, Chad-Alan Carroodle's birth-doodle. H'oodle is 28 oodle 29. Noodle suudle. On Tuesdle I'll bedle 27. Woodle. Oldle.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

"Boodle" defined

I have acquired the definition of a word that sounds as if it was created by me, but alas, someone got to it first. My dear friend macoosh whose lovely blog is linked over there ---> passed this on to me.

boodle (BOOD-l)
noun An illegal payment, as in graft.
verb intr. To take money dishonestly, especially from graft.

[From Dutch boedel (property).]

Today's word in Visual Thesaurus:
-Anu Garg (garg"100 years ago, June 2, 1905: [Several senators and representatives] were arrested yesterday on charges growing out of the alleged boodling operations in the last general assembly." Other Days; Arkansas Democrat-Gazette;

"Boodling operations?" Does this make anyone else but me laugh out loud?

"...I asked the male "attendee" to get me the money as soon as possible, but when it arrived, it was a check from someone else's bank account. I knew at once it was a boodle!..."
--From Jason B. Sherlock, the new Marvel comic book coming to a gay newstand near you!

Thursday, August 31, 2006


I'm going to Canada for my fellow Parodiva's bachelorette party. WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Here's some pics from the trip:

Thursday, August 24, 2006


My dear friend Macoosh has brought it to my attention that I have been M.I.A., and she's right. Where have you been Jason B? Well, I've been torturing myself at the gym everyday this week. I have my tux fitting for my fellow Parodiva Darlene's wedding coming up next week (the fitting, not the wedding). It seems the winter months packed more pounds onto my formerly lithe frame than I had first surmised. Soooo, I've decided to look pretty by my birthday on September 26th. Woo freaking hoo. Then once I'm gorgeous again I will continue with the gym and cut back on the low carb dieting which does show results but I'm told kills. Woo. What else is up? I have a nice tan from a few weekends at various beaches as well as my new moisturizer which has a self tanner in it.

I'm getting anxious about my next artistic endeavor, as I don't have anything lined up. I got a call yesterday from music director I worked with on a show I ended up backing out of. It seems he is working on a new musical and they are having a workshop/backer's audition kind of thing in September and they are (as usual) short on guys. I haven't heard from the casting director yet and the auditions are tomorrow, so we'll see. "Bring something pop-y and then something more traditional." Pop-y? Oh dear. I guess I'm going to have to re-memorize my 16 bars from Songs for a New World, which I've never actually used at an audition but for some reason remains in my book. I don't remember the last time I auditioned. It may have been the open call for the tour of The Producers. What a nightmare that was! Sometimes I forget how awful those calls are. Oy.

Anything else?

I'm seeing Christine Ebersol at the Metropolitan Room tonight. She's the star of the upcoming Broadway show Grey Gardens with which Parker and I are currently a tad obsessed. And the Metropolitan Room is the new cabaret space in Chelsea that has all of the cabaret world abuzz. I'll see what the buzz is all about and get back to you on that. The Parodivas do the Metropolitan Room, sounds good to me, though. We're thinking of doing our next show sometime in November after the Darlo-diva gets back from her honeymoon cruise in Europe. Jealous. However, I do get to attend her bachelorette party which is coming up on Labor Day Weekend. It's a surprise to her where we are going, but I did have to get my passport renewed... Ooh la la. Okay, that's it for now. I'll be back sooner than last time, I promise. I'm going to go find a quotation to end this right back...

Okay, I'm back.

"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night. " Bill Watterson

I had some crazy dreams last night. I usually remember dreaming from about 4am until I wake up around 8. These definitely started around 1 or 2. I'll have to concentrate and try to remember some of the topics, signs, and symbols so I can plug them into an online interpreter that can tell me the meaning of life, or whatever. TTFN!

Jason B, who almost forgot the most important thing of all: Doodle.

Thursday, July 27, 2006


Buddhism: Your Daily Meditation

The fifth step of the Eightfold Path is Right Livelihood, meaning to abstain from all evil living and all manner of ill-gotten livelihood.

I don’t know what the Eightfold Path is, but I do know what it means to abstain from evil living. I think that means when some child splashes in a puddle right next to me and my neatly pressed khaki pants get splotched with the murky murky water that lurks in New York City puddles, I shant wish the little yearling ill. Yikes. I think mostly that evil living is being a bad person. So this idea is not much different from most “religious” concepts. The point is to not be mean and do bad things to innocent people. What I don’t understand is why people need religion or a leader or a higher power to tell them to “be good.” Just do, or don’t and live in misery. Someone once told me that heaven and hell aren’t mythical places we metaphysically transport to when we die, but the environment you create on earth in your own life. For example, if I’m generally a good person, I don’t steal or cheat or kill people then I’m making my “heaven on earth.” That sounds a little cheesy, but I think it makes sense. If you do bad things, have no good relationships with friends or family or whomever, kill people, you live a miserable life, I would assume. And that would be your “hell”? I think the heaven part makes more sense than the hell part. If someone has no conscience then none of this mumbo jumbo even matters. They are happy being bad people. Hmm. I’m going to get a couple definitions and be right back… Okay I had a few thoughts before we move on to definitions. It is the possibility of future punishment in the afterlife for being a bad person that goads the evil doer into changing his ways. I don’t want to burn in hell or live as a rat so I better not steal this gum. Okay, that’s pretty crafty, but I don’t necessarily understand the motivation behind it. World peace? I mean why, eons ago, did someone decide sure let’s listen to this self-proclaimed prophet and try to be good people because our spiritual “father” up in “heaven” said so? I really don’t know much about religion I’m realizing as I write this. I guess my conclusion is that I look at religion intellectually without any sort of spiritual or emotional connection to it. It’s an idea I find interesting, sort of, but not because I’m searching for that “something.” I don’t have any desire to be saved or anything. I think, but definitely do not know, that Buddhism is more about thought than feeling, unlike what I have surmised about Christianity. I guess I should look into what Madonna studies. She seems to have it all figured out.

a. One who believes that it is impossible to know whether there is a God.
b. One who is skeptical about the existence of God but does not profess true atheism.
2. One who is doubtful or noncommittal about something.

Word History: An agnostic does not deny the existence of God and heaven but holds that one cannot know for certain whether or not they exist. The term agnostic was fittingly coined by the 19th-century British scientist Thomas H. Huxley, who believed that only material phenomena were objects of exact knowledge. He made up the word from the prefix a-, meaning “without, not,” as in amoral, and the noun Gnostic. Gnostic is related to the Greek word gn sis, “knowledge,” which was used by early Christian writers to mean “higher, esoteric knowledge of spiritual things” hence, Gnostic referred to those with such knowledge. In coining the term agnostic, Huxley was considering as “Gnostics” a group of his fellow intellectuals “ists,” as he called them who had eagerly embraced various doctrines or theories that explained the world to their satisfaction. Because he was a “man without a rag of a label to cover himself with,” Huxley coined the term agnostic for himself, its first published use being in 1870.

One who disbelieves or denies the existence of God or gods.

1. Often Kabbalah A body of mystical teachings of rabbinical origin, often based on an esoteric interpretation of the Hebrew Scriptures.
2. A secret doctrine resembling these teachings.

I think for now, I’m sticking with atheist, but I’m still going to try to be a good person because I think that feels better.

Monday, July 24, 2006


Don't drown, breathe.
Don't lie, sleep.
Don't disconnect, assemble.
The drinking dulls the departure but doesn't delay.
Tonight he leaves.
Memory lapse.
5am. Half of the bed is cold and empty. The other half is cold yet full.
No sleep, just lying.


Do you ever find that the imroglio that is your life perplexes the hell out of you?

Friday, July 21, 2006

9oodle: Past post pinings

Friday, November 26, 2004

Once upon a time there was a lonely ticketing service representative who sat sadly and silently at his window waiting for the world to bring him something sweet and savory. Silently, sadly, and stoically he sat and sat and sat. He glanced away from the window for a minute moment and when his gaze returned back to the gleaming glass, just beyond it stood a vision of sheer delight. Two brightly beautiful blue eyes stared back at the lonely ticketing service representative and a smile spread across his face and his eyes widened with glee as his pupils ebbed and flowed while taking in the aforementioned vision of delight. The interaction that followed to most would seem banal, boring, b-list, but to the ticketing service representative it seemed celestial and surreal. Words traveled between them through the glass about tickets or seats or theatre, but the ticketing service representative wouldn't remember the words they exchanged. He would only remember the beautifully bright blue eyes of the vision of sheer delight. He wanted to dive into those beautifully bright blue eyes and discover delight delicately deliciously and divinely. He went swimming in the eyes of the vision of delight and touched the hand of elation, inhaled the breath of Eros, and danced the light fantastic of eminence. The moment was fleeting, yet endless, beginning and ending in a brief bolt of time. The moment was fleeting, but the feeling, the journey, and the memory of it would linger with the ticketing services representative throughout the rest of his dreary day. He would think back on his brief encounter with the beautifully bright blue eyes of the vision of sheer delight and a spark of romance would twinge inside his belly. A twinge to taste sheer delight.

Oct-oodle: a past post from the poster's past

"I'm in love with you." He said it. I finally heard those words from an attractive man who fit so nicely within my "type." Now let me rewind twenty minutes to when we met. I was standing strategically in a gay bar. This night it was I believe, The Slide, no The Mary go no, it was The Phallus Wheel. Yes, that was the one. The Phallus Wheel is the it place to be on Saturday nights from 12 to approximately 1:25. It's the Mary Go Round from 1:30 on, and honestly, it's never great at The Slide, so it is best to pop in there, get drunk and head on over to the good bars. So, back to my "love" story... Uck. I don't want to be "looking for a boyfriend." I'm not proud of it; I'm actually ashamed of it. I'm a fiercely independent out-of-work actor who spends time at his temp job doodling pictures of two bedroom apartments on the UES where "He" and I tend to our Chia Herb garden that sits out on the fire escape decorated in a faux south-of-Naples design which I personally came up with after I stole it from Trading Spaces. Some times I stop surfing the internet just long enough to ask myself "Who are you and what have you done with the real me?" Well, whichever me went out the other night was standing strategically at The Phallus Wheel with my faithful friend, Vodka on the Rocks with a lemon. Now, the lemon here is key when you're going to drink straight vodka. What you do is take your straw or straws, I am personally a fan of two cocktail straws, but too vain to ask for two straws. So it is always a pleasant surprise when I get the two straws. So you take your straw or straws and pierce the lemon over and over again thrashing it throughout the glass, slightly flavoring the 5 dollar a glass well vodka, making it taste like 8 dollar a glass Citron, but maintaining the desired strength of 5 dollar a glass well. Well, I'm standing, I'm thrashing, I'm drinking, and the time is ticking by. There are a few cute boys, better than at the first two bars I had cruised earlier in the evening, but really nothing catching my fancy or enticing my...anything. I had just finished my 4th Vodka Rocks with Lemon, was debating between downing another, and getting the hell out of there when someone grabs my hand. I turn and stare into a pair of beautiful, yet half-opened eyes. Accentuating the aforementioned eyes was a head a delightfully sandy blond hair styled into a sort-of gay bringing-back-the-Don Johnson/Miami Vice look. It was working well for him. (imitating the drunk boy) "I think you're hot." "Okay." His name was Brandon, and he was there with his co-worker from Barneys. Fine fine, don't judge Jason, we're looking for a person, not perfection, and at least he's cute and blond. If anything it'll be another night of drunken fumbly sex which you'll replay in your mind the next morning like a black and white b movie on a channel that doesn't get great reception. So I spent some time with Brandon. He stumbled me into a dark corner, and we made out for a bit. I bought him a drink, though he did not need it and I bought myself two, because honestly, there's nothing more sobering than hanging out with someone who is way drunker than you. So, then, two more drinks down, he was slurping at his "Cranberry Vodka," his words not mine, person not perfection, person not perfection. I put down number two, stared into his bloodshot baby blues and out of his mouth came the words, "I love you." Somehow, in my mind, I pictured this moment differently. Call me sentimental, but..."You do?" "Yeah. What's your name again?" "Goodnight Brandon, it's been a pleasure." I went and unchecked my coat from the 5 dollar coat check ridiculousness and made a b-line for the door. On my way out, I glanced back to see if Brandon was still standing, and he was. Strangely enough, he had something attached to his face. It was a taller, cuter boy than I. It is better to have loved and lost than to never have...bite me.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Sept-oodle: trying to add a picture of myself


If You Were an Animal, Which Animal Would You Be?
In 132 words or less, explain what animal you would be and why. What cool things can you do as this animal; where do you place in the food chain; are you cute and cuddly or a viscious predator? All things to consider.
Winner receives $50.

Here's what I submitted:

I want to be a pangolin. I have a giant head. Pangolins have small heads and long tails. If I had a tail people wouldn't stare at my head. Pangolins have no external ears, excellent hearing, and are toothless. I have giant dumbo ears, my hearing sucks, and I could give good blowjobs if I were toothless. I had 6 wisdom teeth; there's no room. Their sight is poor. If blind, I would have more sex. They are from Africa, and I like to travel. I'd have to eat termites, but if I was a pangolin, I'd like termites. Pangolins like to dig. Fuck my job; I want to dig in Uganda. I got beaten up because I'm a homo. If I was a pangolin I would be protected from hate crimes.

Friday, May 26, 2006


No longer feeling torpid, the fish swam with all his might up the stream. I ate him.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Thr-oodle (Warning! Inspiration inside...)

Okay, I bogarted this from some uber-Christian site and then re-worked it for us. Check it out.

You and I seem to be bombarded daily with bad news. One would think it’s terrible to be alive. Seldom do we hear about the many good things in our lives. I maintain we have a lot of good shit as well as the problem shit. I am convinced we should celebrate life with a deeper appreciation of it (life, not shit). I hope you will find some of the following concepts helpful:

1. Find some good shit each morning. Be thankful for you’re apartment in the best city in the world. New York Mutha Fuckin’ City

2. Every night the good shit you received that day. The incorrect change you received from the dumbass at Starbucks, the flirty eyes you got from the hottie in accounting, that first burst of energy you get from your eighth cup of coffee or tenth bottle of water, Super Nanny, American Idol, Law and Order, Grey’s Anatomy. You will fall asleep before you have gone through your list.

3. Be thankful you can breathe a deep, clear breath because you don’t smoke and people cannot smoke in bars, restaurants, or porn stores.

4. Appreciate God’s beauty in nature and the fact that we don’t have to look at that annoying green shit cuz we live in cement.

5. Know that friends (our urban family) are fucking cool. Let them know how fucking cool they are. Send an ecard for no reason at all. All of us need encouragement.

6. Live one day at a time. You can’t relive yesterday. It is gone. Neither can you live tomorrow. (this one I didn’t adjust. Good advice Bible McThumper)

7. Be a “giver,” not a “getter.” The givers are the real winners in this world. The “getters” are the real losers. Givers are happy people. Getters are never satisfied. Umm please ignore re: butt sex.

8. Look for the good. It is in every situation. Find it. It’s there. Right? No, right. RIGHT!?

9. Do a good deed every day. It is more fun if you do it anonymously. I agree that doing it anonymously is a good deed. Do it.

10. Let nothing bother you. “Don’t worry about anything…” Get fired.

11. Practice being happy. Every day we have a choice of our attitudes and that makes a big difference in the way we see our world. Put on a play in which you play yourself but it’s a sitcom instead of Ibsen.

12. Learn to laugh (out loud at your boss).

13. Change criticism to praise. Build on the strengths, not weaknesses. This one’s f’ing hard. Fuck you criticism! I mean, hey criticism, hey!!

14. Take a break and walk around the block. Count five people who are uglier than you and it’s time to go back in. You won’t even make it 10 feet.

15. Doodle. Every day. Doodle.