Thursday, December 28, 2006
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
So I am very excited about being able to pay off some credit card debt in the near future! Freedom...almost!
Chrismoodle went well. I got a very nice knife set with block from The BF that I am very excited to begin using. Unfortunately I cannot begin using it because it is missing a piece so I have to go to Bed Bath and Boodle to get a new one that is not missing a piece. He also gave me a lovely grill pan. Funny, sort of, because I got him a grill pan which was to live at my apartment because we cook there on the weekends. So, we both have grill pans now. Gay. I also got some lovely kitchen utensils. I guess I am becoming a foodie or foodle as I call them. Whatevs. Domestic goddess that I'm not. What else? I got some cash from my Daddy which is nice. "For a night out in NYC." Yay! Not so indirectly I am getting to see Company because I got a pair of tickets for The BF and I for January 2nd. Woodle Hoodle! What did ya'll get???
The "shows" I saw:
Esoterica: Although I was tiiiiiiiiired from shopping and running around and stuff and stuff, this show was very very entertaining. He did a lot of "the oldest tricks in the book" and his patter was very well done. I would describe this as a very well crafted cabaret that uses standard magic tricks instead of songs, woven together by story-telling and such. He's a hottie.
Jerry Scott's Christmas Sing a Long: Danny's was completely packed to the hilt which is great. He asked Parker and I to perform You're a Mean One Mister Grinch and it went over very very well. Yay!
Butley: What a great play this is. I can't wait to pop over to Drama Book Shop to pick this one up. Nathan Lane did quite a good job, especially in the first act, to not be himself and to actually perform the role. Bravo Mr. Ham. I think he is a good contender for Best Actor, but not sure if he will actually get it. We'll see...
Vertical Hour: Also a good play, very verbose, and I definitely need to read this one before I can formulate my real opinion. All in all a seemingly smart piece, that needs some editing. Julianne Moore will not be walking away with the Tony even though she is a brilliant film actress. She is less than brilliant on the stage, I must say. Bill Nighy was quite good. Very odd. Very creepy. Will probably get nominated, but end up living on a comet or something. What?
White Christmas: We watched this movie Sunday night and finished it Monday morning. My goodness I love love love this film. It's magical to me. I still laugh at every joke and silly Danny Kaye nuance. I still get misty when General Waverly walks into the performance hall and sees all of his soldiers from days gone by. Single Tear. Love it! Want to live it.
Wizard of Oz: We watched this during breakfast. I'm torn between being the Scarecrow or the Tinman. What do you think?
Sound of Music: This we watched while cooking Christmas dinner and during the beginning of dinner. Good. Gay.
The Oblongs: I got this series on dvd for Sir Willio. What a f*cked up show. Funnny. Will Ferrel and Jean Smart are the main voices. Fun times/wrong laughter was had/heard by all. Woot.
That's all for now. Sitting at work waiting for the day to end so I can get home and grill something...anything...everything...doodle!
Friday, December 22, 2006
Have a Mary ChrismaHannuKwanzica! Doodle!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
After that horrendously angry ranty thing, I figure I should post something a little more positive. Top 10 “Things” I cannot live without in some particular order:
2. Salsa, spicy enough to kill children in India by the fumes from here
3. Chips to go with said salsa
4. Friendship, friendship, such a perfect…you get it
5. The Parodivas
7. Broadway musicals
What are 10 “things” you cannot live without? Food, water, and religion don’t count.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Work is a nightmare. It's just really bad right now. I got a talking to from the co-owner of the company about my "performance" on Friday and it really made it a challenge to get focused and put on a good show. I'm a perfectionist. I don't like doing things I'm not good at. I know this. It's why I quit baseball. And soccer. And football. And tennis. And karate. And gymnastics. I loved basketball and was quite good at that, I just grew out of that and into choir. I'm glad. I digress. Yes, I've made mistakes in my job. Who hasn't? I feel that I am expected to job-share with my boss as opposed to being her assistant which is my title. Then, I am expected to provide the same quality of work that she does, even though she has 6 years of experience versus my 6 months. I mean, I am a smart and capable person. I am. This job is challenging and difficult and I dare them to find someone who can do it better. Whatever. I've basically been asked to kick it up a notch. The trouble and the reason I am worried and paranoid is that an hour after the talk, the one person at my office that I am "friends" with (the only person I invited to the show) came up to me to say goodbye...forever. She was fired. She had no idea. My company is clearly cleaning house before bonus time and I've been warned. Corporate America. I talked to my mom about it and I feel better. (in her charming southern ass way) "Honey, you can kick it up a notch. You are a fantastic actor, and I know you can do it." Alright mom. I'll try this out. I never thought I'd be hoping for a children's theatre tour or for the freedom that temping offers. I need to get in shape. I need to take some dance classes. I need to get my debt paid off. Because: While having sold my soul to corporate america to get my finances in order is okay. IT IS NOT PERMANENT!
Perspective...and of course I WILL ALWAYS HAVE:DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE. FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCKS! I WILL CUT YOU...WITH WIT.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
The show is on Friday!! Wow. Scared. Excited. Wow.
Work is crazy busy. LEAVE ME ALONE RINGING PHONE!!!
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Am I famous yet? Doodle.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
Um, a different co-worker just came up and this was on the screen. She said, "I can't believe she's trying to get away with that. Jeans are one thing but..." I'm not alone.
Track Suit Fridays? Methinks doodle.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
- Ashley Brown was simply wonderful as Mary Poppins.
- Gavin Lee was AMAZING. A true song and dance man. Jealous.
- Wonderful music, including new songs
- Dancing, dancing, dancing. Made me want to sign up for a dance class tomorrow
- New characters and scenes that must be based on the book (which I haven't read)
- There is a funny butler role that I want to play in the national tour. Gotta sign up for that class asap!
- Beautiful, wonderful, perfect set
- The Banks children were far less annoying than their exact counterparts in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
- My seat was horribly uncomfortable and not suitable for anyone over 6ft. It was a few miles away from the stage, but I had the opera glasses so I could occasionally check in to see what their faces were doing.
- There were 5 kagillion children.
- The first act was too long; a few numbers should be snipped.
- Gwen's role Mrs. Brill(which I'm pretty sure you (Gwen) read for a few times) was played by an actual British woman, so maybe that's why they chose her? She did that really high pitched voice immediately into the low pitched voice, lilty thing. Does that make sense? She was actually great and at one point received exit applause (love that) but I hate her because I love Gwen. Stupid Brit. Ps, the funny butler is in every scene with your character, so let's do the national tour together!!
- Porno Lipped Marie's guy is in the show as the gayest statue ever! Ugh.
I paid $40 for an aisle seat in the balcony. It was worth it. Yes, I was uncomfortable, but I forgot about that. There were a few other wonderfully amazing terrific things that happened, but I don't want to spoil anything. Go see it. Yay!
Next week is High Fidelity which I'm nervous I might hate and then the following week is The Apple Tree with Kristen Chenoweth. THEN on Dec 1st is my show...wow. Gotta get back to work at work so I can work on the show!
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Ahh to hear, "Five minutes to places."
Monday, November 13, 2006
That's all for now, maybe more when I'm in a better non-Monday mood.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
We'll be featuring some friends and we'll be doing a parody of a song suggested by someone who entered our contest. Oooooh. Ahhhhh.
Anyhoo, I am excited and so is Darladiva and our Parodiva Pals.
That's all for now, I've got a script to polish. And a Polish sausage to eat.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
Heroes tonight, yay!
Friday, November 03, 2006
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Please someone, can you have a party next year? I simply CANNOT do this again.
Tonight I'm going to relax and watch tv and try not to think about work or Halloween or anything. Yay!
I should have gone as a Magna-Doodle.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
Hey BuddhaJesusKwanzaMadonna, can I catch a break? Can I catch one? Oy freakin' vey people. Oy freakin' doodle vey.
I just don't have doodles to describe how this makes me feel. To quote the movie (and musical) Wedding Singer, "I'm on my knees, pretty pretty please KILL ME! I WANT TO DIE. PUT A BULLET IN MY HE-EH-EH-EH-AD!"
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Okay. I saw Chita Rivera, The Dancer's Life last night. This was my second time seeing this legend in her autobiographical Broadway show. Why, you ask, would I need to see this show for a second time? Well, the answer is Dick van Dyke. I got to see two legends on a Broadway stage, together. It was amazing to say the least. Chita and Dick worked together on Broadway in the musical, Bye Bye Birdie. Dick came out onto the stage and was given the entrance applause he truly deserved. He then danced and sang the well-known song from Bye Bye Birdie, Put on a Happy Face. He was adorable, and he's 82! Then the two danced and sang Rosie. Adorable. Dick van Dyke received an amazing standing ovation that swept through the theatre. One lady in the front row stood and it was like when a crowd at a sports arena does the wave. We all leapt to our feet. We waited outside at the stage door, hoping Dick and Chita would sign our playbills. We waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, Dick van Dyke came out, smiled, waved, posed for a few pictures and got into his car. No autographs. Sad, but understandable. Luckily, when Chita came out, she was very attentive to the fans (still) waiting. She came up to sign my playbill and I remarked, "You look hot." Her reply was, "Oooh, I like that." Then as she was signing she said, "soo cute." So, that's that. I saw an American icon, Dick van Dyke sing and dance with a Broadway legend Chita Rivera, who thinks I'm "soo cute." I'd say that's one for the books.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
After Spamalot, The BF and I went to the haunted house that was sold out the previous night. It was just okay. It honestly does't even need reviewing. Eh.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
No, I don't watch it, but Julie, Macoosh, and Noodle doodle, so I'dle did the doodle. I identify most with Jack. Yes, I am a hunky leading man. I am never getting written off the show!! I know that much! Paycheck! This is all heresay, by the way. Lost chicas, does this make sense with my personality?
MUSIC IS IN THE AIR: A TRIBUTE TO JEROME KERN
"Kern composed hundreds of songs; melodious, poignant, wistful, tender and utterly enchanting. He brought to the treasury of American Song the wealth of his own great talent, and enriched the American scene for his being part of it." - Judy Garland
I'm excited about it. I think it should prove to be a lovely evening. And what a way to forget a long and arduous week.
On Saturday, I will most likely have brunch with The BF and his friend who will be in town visiting. Then, The BF wants to go to a haunted house. I know, I know, it doesn't sound like something I'd want to do, but it could be fun, right? I hope it doesn't suck. My friend Sandi from Singin' in the Rain is leaving town to go and do Singin' in the Rain (again) and so she is having a going away for a little while party at which I hope to make an appearance. Then, I am seeing Spamalot on Sunday. Woo hoo! There are lots of great shows about to open on Broadway this season, so it's good that I'm getting to catch this show that I missed. I am most excited about Grey Gardens, Company (which I saw in Cincinatti), The Grinch, The Violet Hour, Mary Poppins, basically everything. I sure am gay.
On that note I bid you a fabulous ciao dahling, I mean, doodling.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
- I sleep in corpse position. I cross my arms over my chest and don't move all night.
- I used to have a Southern accent. I mean serious serious acksynt.
- I use the word doodle and it's derivatives the way the Smurfs use the word smurf. "I'm going to put the doodle on the diddle, Okay'dle? You're a doll-dle.
- When I was a kid I wanted to be a lawyer because I LOVED Matlock. My family was (my Grandoodle still is) disappointed to find out I didn't want to BE a lawyer, I wanted to PLAY one. Someday.
- My father is a chainsaw artist. He makes bears and things out of trees with a chainsaw.
- I sometimes shave in bed because I'm too tired to get my ass to the bathroom.
- I was a math whiz in high school. I went through College Calculus 3 and Physics. I aced the AP Calc exam for what? why? I quit as soon as I started college and never used that side of my brain again.
- I think crying from eating spicy food is a great thing.
- I meant to become an opera singer, but got distracted. Woops! Cabaret it is!
- Yay! Darladiva has a blog now: To the Left of Right
- Macoosh is a blogging rockstar and always deserves a looksie, and yes she answered MY question on Ask Macoosh this week, so I want you to find out the answer: What are the pros/cons of the Irish hair and skin tones that hath been bestowed upon thee?
- Heroes was great this week! Claire, the cheerleader, is hands down my favorite character. I find her power of rapid cell regeneration (i.e. can heal super fast from any injury) really cool. She did in fact exact her revenge upon Attempted Rape Guy and it rocked! The other story-lines are progressing nicely as well. Woo hoo! What shows are you obsessed with? Which character's storyline is most fascinating?
- Continuing with the TV talk, Friday Night Lights is also a great show. It's funny because when you look at me, talk to me, are friends with me, see me on the street, you think I'm a Noel Coward type and so I would have no interest in a show about football, but surprisingly because of my former life as a Texan I can really relate to this show. It's crazy! I don't want to go back there, but I know these characters, I've met them and interacted with them, and often hated them, but find them fascinating nonetheless.
- Noodle is still on tour. Check her out. She has to invite you to view the blog, but if you ask nicely I'm sure she'll let you. You may have to ask me to ask her, but I'm sure if you ask nicely I'll do that for you.
- My dear friend Cricket is a hottie Jack of All Trades these days, check out his site and see if he can clear your mind and teach you the art of yoga, star in your musical revue-dle, build you a house, or babysit your children.
That's it for now. Doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle. Daily usage of the word doodle for toodle-day:
"What's the name of the guy that fronts that band, um... you know the one?" Dr. Doodle McDiddle? "Yes."
Friday, October 13, 2006
- #1 problem is a lack of proper communication
- She is 26, the other actors are younger (22, 23, 23).
- Girl has done this schmidt before, A LOT (They ain't done too much).
- She has a BIG personality, that she has to keep in check in this situation
- The company KEEPS messing up their checks. Every Week!!
- Let's faceit, they live, work, breathe, eat, & sleep basically attached to each other's hips 24/7, it's a potentially stressful situation
- Moody mood mood moodley moody! It seems like someone is always in a bad mood or pouting or not talking to someone or some other such nonsense
Anyhoodle, you get the idea. Here's what I posted on her site as a bit of advice. She wrote back saying it was good advice and I sounded like an adult and that made me feel good, so I'm posting it here:
I think your suggestion to simply say "Hey everyone, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, stand back." is a great one. Unfortunately, I think the age difference is what is showing here. When one is not mature enough to address his feelings they just get muddled and come out as frustrated shrugging and such. I find that someone pouting in a corner is waiting desperately for you to come by and tap them on the shoulder. Then when the response is a shrug, it's a cry to ask again. I say leave 'em in the corner. He put himself there, he can bring himself out, and if he can't it's not your responsibility. As for the paychecks, you absolutely did the right thing by demanding they fix the problem immediately and give you ALL the money owed, and the kids who didn't request being compensated should have for the principle if not for the need of the actual money. You know how I am with my money. You can touch my best friend, but you better not touch my money! Hang in there. I find that performers who have not gone through experiences like this don't appreciate it when they get a really good gig with really great and professional people. You'll appreciate it so much more because you will have perspective and that rocks.When it all boils down to it though, Doodle,
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
It was a very good episode. I think Claire the cheerleader is my favorite, and due to the ending I think her story line is about to get crazy interesting. She's the one who if injured, heals really really fast. i.e. Wolverine in the X-Men. She, of course, just yearns to be "normal," and wants nothing to do with her special gift. In an attempt to do so, she winds up at a bonfire where all the football jocks and cheerleading chicas are hanging out drinking beer, as TV high school kids are want to do. I don't remember ever chilling with a kegger in high school, but maybe that's just me. I was too busy learning to use spirit gum to fasten a fake beard to my face for Fiddler on the Roof. Anyhoo, the very cute quarterback lures the drooling Claire to a secluded set of bleachers. They start making out, but the naughty quarterback of course wants more. He begins to force himself onto her and she tries to fight him off. He ends up pushing her off the bleachers and she falls backward onto a log and impales her neck. She doesn't heal from this, as she has previously healed from her other injuries. It seems like she's dead! Oh no, my favorite character, written off the show so soon? Noooooooooooooo! Well, thankfully, in a cliffhanger ending, the final shot is Claire is on an operating table, in a dark basement-like place, her chest has been sliced completely open, and all her ribs are showing! WTF? Can't wait until next week to find out when, where, why and who.
As for the other characters, their stories are now bringing them closer and closer to each other. Annoying Asian Teleportation Man calls Heroin Addicted Clairvoyant Artist, because said Artist is the author of the comic book that is predicting AATM's life. Wow, that sentence is confusing. Then, HACA's girlfriend has left him and now she's canoodling with Hottie McFlying Guy. It seems that Hottie McIndian Fellow (who doesn't seem to have any power, just the hunger to prove his Dead Daddy the Professor right, and find these special people, namely the elusive psychotic killer Sylar) will soon be interacting with Mind Reading Guy who is now working with the FBI to find Sylar. Sylar has crazy telekinetic power, enough to make FBI Chica put her own gun to her head! After being shot, Sylar, much like Claire, is basically unaffected by the bullet wounds, and heals instantly. No wonder I like this show. It's like Young and the Restless for the 16 year old Dungeons and Dragons Player in my mind! Anyhoo, if this sounds at all interesting to you, watch the first three episodes online. And if you're really feeling geeky, as I did today, you can check out the special online only comic books, that delve further into the story. Okay, that's that for now.
Tonight is Friday Night Lights. Woo hoo.
And as always, when watching TV or otherwise, remember...Doodle.
Monday, October 09, 2006
I'd much rather be at home "celebrating" today by watching Oprah because you see, I'm a hypochondriac and they have a kind-of-cutie doctor answering questions on today. Oh well. Instead I am here at work not "celebrating" because my office does not observe Columbus Day, Leif Erikson Day, or Canadian Thanksgiving Day (which is also today incidentally). We are an international firm so we don't celebrate United States specific holidays. So we're all here type type typing away. But, I only have to work for about 2 more hours and then I can GO HOME!!!
Tonight I am going to watch Heroes which is quickly becoming my new favorite show. The other new one that I secretly (until now) enjoy is Friday Night Lights. These two shows are both wonderful new additions to my television enjoying time. I like Heroes because I've always wanted to be a super hero or villain. My super villain name, and I'm seriously considering writing a show or something around this character, maybe with Darladiva as the super hero, ready for it...The Randy Dandy! I picture him very Paul Lynde, Charles Nelson Reilly, Jason B. Schmidt-esque. I like Friday Night Lights because it reminds me of my former life as a southerner, and it has hotness all over the screen, both male and female. Yum-o. Hmm, nothing else to talk about as of now. Waiting for Darladiva to get back from her honeymoon so we can start working on either developing the poetry play we put up last winter, or the new cabaret. We shall see.
Going back to "pretend" work while "celebrating" history...
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
What are the top five songs you want played at your funeral?
1. Simply the Best by Tina Turner because when I hear this song I feel like a rockstar.
2. River Deep Mountain High by Celine Dion because when I hear this song I feel like a drag queen.
3. Feeling Good most recently by Michael Buble, but really from the musical The Roar of the Greasepaint the Smell of the Crowd because when I sing this song I feel like a Broadway belting crooner machine.
4. In the Garden because though I don't believe in God, my Moodle and Granonanoodle do, and we love to sing this song in harmony when we get a little drunk at family gatherings. I'm assuming my funeral will be a general booze fest.
5. Suddenly Jason a parody that Noodle will have to write and perform because that's what friends are for which is a song that will not be played.
Should I have everyone doodle on my coffin? Eww, am I going to have a coffin? Grind up my ashes and infuse them into a bottle of Grey Goose and put me on the shelf with the other alcohol(ics).
May I rest in a piece (of ass). Doodle.
Monday, October 02, 2006
9/21 - Chad Alan
9/26 - Doodle's truly
9/28 - Mark
9/29 - Josh
9/29 - Aunt Tammy
These are the libras in my life. Truly marvelous human beings whose mission in life is to keep things balanced. Hollah!
I saw A Chorus Line for my birthday. It was a really great evening. I've never seen it before and was very very entertained. There are wonderful stories told beautifully through movement, song, and speech. I definitely had one of those "man, I wish I could be up there" moments. I love those. Even though I clearly know I'm a Dance 2, Looks 5, and I'd have to take dance from dusk til dawn for 5 years, I still couldn't help thinking, "I can do that, I can do that!"
Well, I'm 27 now. Officially late 20's. FUN TIMES!!??
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
noun An illegal payment, as in graft.
verb intr. To take money dishonestly, especially from graft.
[From Dutch boedel (property).]
Today's word in Visual Thesaurus: http://visualthesaurus.com/?w1=boodle
-Anu Garg (garg wordsmith.org)"100 years ago, June 2, 1905: [Several senators and representatives] were arrested yesterday on charges growing out of the alleged boodling operations in the last general assembly." Other Days; Arkansas Democrat-Gazette;
"Boodling operations?" Does this make anyone else but me laugh out loud?
"...I asked the male "attendee" to get me the money as soon as possible, but when it arrived, it was a check from someone else's bank account. I knew at once it was a boodle!..."
--From Jason B. Sherlock, the new Marvel comic book coming to a gay newstand near you!
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
I'm getting anxious about my next artistic endeavor, as I don't have anything lined up. I got a call yesterday from music director I worked with on a show I ended up backing out of. It seems he is working on a new musical and they are having a workshop/backer's audition kind of thing in September and they are (as usual) short on guys. I haven't heard from the casting director yet and the auditions are tomorrow, so we'll see. "Bring something pop-y and then something more traditional." Pop-y? Oh dear. I guess I'm going to have to re-memorize my 16 bars from Songs for a New World, which I've never actually used at an audition but for some reason remains in my book. I don't remember the last time I auditioned. It may have been the open call for the tour of The Producers. What a nightmare that was! Sometimes I forget how awful those calls are. Oy.
I'm seeing Christine Ebersol at the Metropolitan Room tonight. She's the star of the upcoming Broadway show Grey Gardens with which Parker and I are currently a tad obsessed. And the Metropolitan Room is the new cabaret space in Chelsea that has all of the cabaret world abuzz. I'll see what the buzz is all about and get back to you on that. The Parodivas do the Metropolitan Room, sounds good to me, though. We're thinking of doing our next show sometime in November after the Darlo-diva gets back from her honeymoon cruise in Europe. Jealous. However, I do get to attend her bachelorette party which is coming up on Labor Day Weekend. It's a surprise to her where we are going, but I did have to get my passport renewed... Ooh la la. Okay, that's it for now. I'll be back sooner than last time, I promise. I'm going to go find a quotation to end this post...be right back...
Okay, I'm back.
"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night. " Bill Watterson
I had some crazy dreams last night. I usually remember dreaming from about 4am until I wake up around 8. These definitely started around 1 or 2. I'll have to concentrate and try to remember some of the topics, signs, and symbols so I can plug them into an online interpreter that can tell me the meaning of life, or whatever. TTFN!
Jason B, who almost forgot the most important thing of all: Doodle.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
The fifth step of the Eightfold Path is Right Livelihood, meaning to abstain from all evil living and all manner of ill-gotten livelihood.
I don’t know what the Eightfold Path is, but I do know what it means to abstain from evil living. I think that means when some child splashes in a puddle right next to me and my neatly pressed khaki pants get splotched with the murky murky water that lurks in New York City puddles, I shant wish the little yearling ill. Yikes. I think mostly that evil living is being a bad person. So this idea is not much different from most “religious” concepts. The point is to not be mean and do bad things to innocent people. What I don’t understand is why people need religion or a leader or a higher power to tell them to “be good.” Just do, or don’t and live in misery. Someone once told me that heaven and hell aren’t mythical places we metaphysically transport to when we die, but the environment you create on earth in your own life. For example, if I’m generally a good person, I don’t steal or cheat or kill people then I’m making my “heaven on earth.” That sounds a little cheesy, but I think it makes sense. If you do bad things, have no good relationships with friends or family or whomever, kill people, you live a miserable life, I would assume. And that would be your “hell”? I think the heaven part makes more sense than the hell part. If someone has no conscience then none of this mumbo jumbo even matters. They are happy being bad people. Hmm. I’m going to get a couple definitions and be right back… Okay I had a few thoughts before we move on to definitions. It is the possibility of future punishment in the afterlife for being a bad person that goads the evil doer into changing his ways. I don’t want to burn in hell or live as a rat so I better not steal this gum. Okay, that’s pretty crafty, but I don’t necessarily understand the motivation behind it. World peace? I mean why, eons ago, did someone decide sure let’s listen to this self-proclaimed prophet and try to be good people because our spiritual “father” up in “heaven” said so? I really don’t know much about religion I’m realizing as I write this. I guess my conclusion is that I look at religion intellectually without any sort of spiritual or emotional connection to it. It’s an idea I find interesting, sort of, but not because I’m searching for that “something.” I don’t have any desire to be saved or anything. I think, but definitely do not know, that Buddhism is more about thought than feeling, unlike what I have surmised about Christianity. I guess I should look into what Madonna studies. She seems to have it all figured out.
a. One who believes that it is impossible to know whether there is a God.
b. One who is skeptical about the existence of God but does not profess true atheism.
2. One who is doubtful or noncommittal about something.
Word History: An agnostic does not deny the existence of God and heaven but holds that one cannot know for certain whether or not they exist. The term agnostic was fittingly coined by the 19th-century British scientist Thomas H. Huxley, who believed that only material phenomena were objects of exact knowledge. He made up the word from the prefix a-, meaning “without, not,” as in amoral, and the noun Gnostic. Gnostic is related to the Greek word gn sis, “knowledge,” which was used by early Christian writers to mean “higher, esoteric knowledge of spiritual things” hence, Gnostic referred to those with such knowledge. In coining the term agnostic, Huxley was considering as “Gnostics” a group of his fellow intellectuals “ists,” as he called them who had eagerly embraced various doctrines or theories that explained the world to their satisfaction. Because he was a “man without a rag of a label to cover himself with,” Huxley coined the term agnostic for himself, its first published use being in 1870.
One who disbelieves or denies the existence of God or gods.
1. Often Kabbalah A body of mystical teachings of rabbinical origin, often based on an esoteric interpretation of the Hebrew Scriptures.
2. A secret doctrine resembling these teachings.
I think for now, I’m sticking with atheist, but I’m still going to try to be a good person because I think that feels better.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Don't lie, sleep.
Don't disconnect, assemble.
The drinking dulls the departure but doesn't delay.
Tonight he leaves.
5am. Half of the bed is cold and empty. The other half is cold yet full.
No sleep, just lying.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Once upon a time there was a lonely ticketing service representative who sat sadly and silently at his window waiting for the world to bring him something sweet and savory. Silently, sadly, and stoically he sat and sat and sat. He glanced away from the window for a minute moment and when his gaze returned back to the gleaming glass, just beyond it stood a vision of sheer delight. Two brightly beautiful blue eyes stared back at the lonely ticketing service representative and a smile spread across his face and his eyes widened with glee as his pupils ebbed and flowed while taking in the aforementioned vision of delight. The interaction that followed to most would seem banal, boring, b-list, but to the ticketing service representative it seemed celestial and surreal. Words traveled between them through the glass about tickets or seats or theatre, but the ticketing service representative wouldn't remember the words they exchanged. He would only remember the beautifully bright blue eyes of the vision of sheer delight. He wanted to dive into those beautifully bright blue eyes and discover delight delicately deliciously and divinely. He went swimming in the eyes of the vision of delight and touched the hand of elation, inhaled the breath of Eros, and danced the light fantastic of eminence. The moment was fleeting, yet endless, beginning and ending in a brief bolt of time. The moment was fleeting, but the feeling, the journey, and the memory of it would linger with the ticketing services representative throughout the rest of his dreary day. He would think back on his brief encounter with the beautifully bright blue eyes of the vision of sheer delight and a spark of romance would twinge inside his belly. A twinge to taste sheer delight.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
In 132 words or less, explain what animal you would be and why. What cool things can you do as this animal; where do you place in the food chain; are you cute and cuddly or a viscious predator? All things to consider.
Winner receives $50.
Here's what I submitted:
I want to be a pangolin. I have a giant head. Pangolins have small heads and long tails. If I had a tail people wouldn't stare at my head. Pangolins have no external ears, excellent hearing, and are toothless. I have giant dumbo ears, my hearing sucks, and I could give good blowjobs if I were toothless. I had 6 wisdom teeth; there's no room. Their sight is poor. If blind, I would have more sex. They are from Africa, and I like to travel. I'd have to eat termites, but if I was a pangolin, I'd like termites. Pangolins like to dig. Fuck my job; I want to dig in Uganda. I got beaten up because I'm a homo. If I was a pangolin I would be protected from hate crimes.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
You and I seem to be bombarded daily with bad news. One would think it’s terrible to be alive. Seldom do we hear about the many good things in our lives. I maintain we have a lot of good shit as well as the problem shit. I am convinced we should celebrate life with a deeper appreciation of it (life, not shit). I hope you will find some of the following concepts helpful:
1. Find some good shit each morning. Be thankful for you’re apartment in the best city in the world. New York Mutha Fuckin’ City
2. Every night the good shit you received that day. The incorrect change you received from the dumbass at Starbucks, the flirty eyes you got from the hottie in accounting, that first burst of energy you get from your eighth cup of coffee or tenth bottle of water, Super Nanny, American Idol, Law and Order, Grey’s Anatomy. You will fall asleep before you have gone through your list.
3. Be thankful you can breathe a deep, clear breath because you don’t smoke and people cannot smoke in bars, restaurants, or porn stores.
4. Appreciate God’s beauty in nature and the fact that we don’t have to look at that annoying green shit cuz we live in cement.
5. Know that friends (our urban family) are fucking cool. Let them know how fucking cool they are. Send an ecard for no reason at all. All of us need encouragement.
6. Live one day at a time. You can’t relive yesterday. It is gone. Neither can you live tomorrow. (this one I didn’t adjust. Good advice Bible McThumper)
7. Be a “giver,” not a “getter.” The givers are the real winners in this world. The “getters” are the real losers. Givers are happy people. Getters are never satisfied. Umm please ignore re: butt sex.
8. Look for the good. It is in every situation. Find it. It’s there. Right? No, right. RIGHT!?
9. Do a good deed every day. It is more fun if you do it anonymously. I agree that doing it anonymously is a good deed. Do it.
10. Let nothing bother you. “Don’t worry about anything…” Get fired.
11. Practice being happy. Every day we have a choice of our attitudes and that makes a big difference in the way we see our world. Put on a play in which you play yourself but it’s a sitcom instead of Ibsen.
12. Learn to laugh (out loud at your boss).
13. Change criticism to praise. Build on the strengths, not weaknesses. This one’s f’ing hard. Fuck you criticism! I mean, hey criticism, hey!!
14. Take a break and walk around the block. Count five people who are uglier than you and it’s time to go back in. You won’t even make it 10 feet.
15. Doodle. Every day. Doodle.